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5.
The #1 job for the Lazies in urban america. The job requirements are to be able to sit at home on your ass, smoke crack, and eat government cheese while waiting for your check
Sorry Tyrone I can't go to the bar, my unemployment check has not arrived

My drunk uncle thinks unemployment is the best job he has ever had

I'm going to have to wait for the bus in the niggaquarium so I can get to the unemployment office
by princesstartar February 05, 2013
3 9
 
1.
the act of setting ones self free, by taking your hard earned tax dollars back from the State. i.e. Boobs, Dubes & Tubes
Step into my office...why? Because you're fucking laid off! Join you're local Unemployment Club, i.e UCPB = The unemployment Club of Pacific Beach, California.
by Thor the Destroyer April 25, 2003
91 25
 
2.
A symptom of the failure and insanity of modern society.

If there is something to do, then how can there be unemployment? There is work to do - we go do it. It's that simple.
And if there is nothing to do, can't the rich creeps just leave us alone?

No, they can't. Because unemployment was fabricated by the rich cocksuckers in order to keep wages down and keep the lower classes scared and busy. Because if you're afraid you might lose your job - which allows you to purchase tenancy/ food/ clothes from the rich - you keep your mouth shut and you keep working no matter how dumb the job is. And if the wage is shit you keep quiet because at least you're getting some dough with which to pay rent/ alimony/ student loans/ dinner.

Meanwhile we see the proliferation of computerization, robotization, mechanization, miniaturization, and other -zations - meaning there is less and less useful stuff left to do. Most work out there is bullshit. (At least) 70% of us can stop working today (everyone except the people doing real work, who incidentally are the worst paid - the farmers, the janitors, the maintenance workers, the construction workers, etc), and life will go on just fine. Except everyone will have more leisure and less worry.

But we can't have that. Oh no. The rich are just keeping us busy so we fail to notice how they are getting away with murder.

Unemployment is as dumb as planned obsolescence. The future generations will look at us with horror and derision.
Unemployment has found Joe:

Joe: Shit, I can't find a job.
Frank: You mean you are a strong, intelligent young person who is willing to work for the benefit of the rich, and they won't even let you do that?
Joe: Yeah.
Frank: So where do you live? What do you eat?
Joe: I live in my mom's basement. I eat macaroni and sometimes I eat cheese.
Frank: How do you fill your days?
Joe: Well, I don't like fat chicks, and the hot ones think I'm a loser, and I don't have enough dough for speed and smack, so I just drink vodka all day and I masturbate to Internet porn.
Frank: You know what, man?
Joe: I know.
Frank: Fuck the rich!
Joe: Exactly.
by jack kane January 20, 2011
46 13
 
3.
The word black people hear the most.
Damn nigga, is you still on unemployment
by ExtraKrispy November 23, 2008
58 45
 
4.
In the UK we have a saying. It goes like this. Whats green and gets you fucked? Your Giro! This sums up enemployment exquisitely - go down to the: job centre/ dole office / welfare - pick up your govermental contribution for food and rent, walk out of the building and directly into the nearest pub and spend every last penny of it on alcohol and drugs.
"It's bloody busy in ere, whats the beef?"
"We're next to the labour exchange guv."
by OB August 03, 2005
36 26