*You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
*You refuse to believe that Edward Cullen does not exist.
*People stare at you funny because you and your friends are locked into a heated argument of vampire vs. werewolves.
*You cried through most of New Moon.
*Your dream car is a silver 2005 Volvo S60R or a yellow 911 Turbo Porsche
*You long to visit Forks, Washington
*You get excited anytime someone unexpectedly mentions anything about vampires.
*You talk about Edward and Twilight so much, that your friends read it just to shut you up
*You have come to hate the sun
*You start to see silver Volvos everywhere (I SWEAR I SAW ONE DRIVE BY)
*Every time you're in a grocery store, you have the urge to pick up and hold an apple
*You start cursing at Halloween shop windows when you see stereotypical vampire teeth and costumes.
I am a Twitard!
One who takes fandom of Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer, to a level of or beyond obsession.
They often flames forum postings trying to defend the book, regardless whether the book was being critiqued negatively or not. They are also prone to using all caps, not checking their spelling/grammar, jumping to conclusions, falling in love with Edward, and biting people's heads of for just saying they didn't like the book.
Twitards are dangerous. Many have attacked innocent people all for saying they didn't like Twilight.
If you see a twitard, act with caution. They may pull a knife on you, throw acid in your face, hit you with Twilight it's self across the face and scratch your eyes out, just to name a few attacks that have happened.
Unlike regular twilighters, twitards practically worship the series (some even referring to it as the bible) and refuse to tolerate any parodies or critiques of their beloved obsession.
Twitards are known for expressing their dislike of people who don't like Twilight (especially anti-twilighters) through the following:
-yelling or abusing caps lock/exclamation points
-violence (including, but not limited to, punching, beating, kicking, and fish slaughter)
-ad hominems (the most common ones being: "you're ugly," "you've never read the 'saga'", and "you have no life.")
-expressing their and their friends unending love towards the series
-horrifying spelling, grammar, and syntax
Twitard: OMG!!1! HOw CuLD U nOT LyK TWLIGHT!?/1/?
Person: Well, I think Edward is very abusi-
Twitard: NooO!!!1!!1!1 EDWarD Iz JuST PrOTeTIn BeLA HAO CulD U S4Y sUCH a THING alL mAH FreNDz luv tEH SaGA 98% oF tEenZ LUv TwilITE &7 onLY 2%5 Dont Soooo UR JuST uGLY HaTEr W/ nOOo lYF OMG U a**hoLE!1!!!1!!!!11
usually (A) lonely girls who think they haven't been understood or (B) normal girls that don't read too often
Girl A: well you can read Twilight, a book about swirling emotions and true love that MOST of you IDIOTS dont believe in!!
Girl B: I L0V3 3DW@RD <33333 SUP3R HAWTTT!!!
Bob: oh those are twitards, get away