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16.
Best books ever, i dont care what anyone says.

twilight: Bella (a teenage average girl) and Edward (hansome vampire) fall in love. Crazy vampire James tries to kill Bella and Edward and his family saves her.

New Moon: Edward doesnt feel like he's giving Bella a safe life, thinking she could do way better so he leaves her. She pretty much goes crazy and almost drowns while cliff diving. So Alice (edwards phycic sister) see's her jump off the cliff and comes to find her alive. Edward thinks she is dead so he runs of to Italy to be killed by the Vultury (Powerfull, royal vampires) And Bella and Alice go save him. Oh yeah and Jacob falls in love with Bella (he also turns into a wearewolf)
eclipse: Victoria (James lover) is trying to get revenge by killing Bella so she creats a bunch of crazed new born vampires to kill her, but The Cullens, wearwolfs fight back and they live
Breaking Dawn: Bella and Edward get married, have sex, have a little baby girl named Reneesme (but she is half vampire half human and almost kills bella) so Bella is turned into a vampire after delivering the baby. After a few months the Volturi find out about Reneesme and think she is a full vampire baby (which pretty much is illegal because they can not be taught) So the Cullens gather up all their vampire friends, and wearwolves (they now are no longer enemys) and go to defend them selves, the vulturi run away with their tails between their legs.
Screw that crap about fangirl: "omg! edward is soooo hot!" Because the way Stephenie describes him, he IS hot! Point of the matter, thats not the only thing we fangirls love about the books. Get over yourselves. The twilight saga is great!! I suggest reading it.
by R.P. + M.C. = <3 May 05, 2009
 
1.
A freakishly addicting book (stolen from a fan fic site) written by a strange middle aged woman who (has sexual fantacies about this) created this character named ~*~Edward~*~ who *sparkle, sparkle* in the sun light, instead of burting into flame like normal vampires. Then theres his (stupid and patheticly clumbsy) girlfriend, Bella (who's a whore) who falls in love with her BFF Jake then rejects him cause he's (A million times not possesive and dosn't hate himself)not like Edward. And he's a werewolf so Edward hates him. Then she gets knocked up (About 40 billion times (cause she's a necrophiliac whore)by Edward and they make a baby (that wants to kill her). After having Renesmee (a name that was created using a mormon thing where the names of both grandparents are combined) Bella dies and becomes a vampy. Then come to find out Jachob falls madly in love with Renesmee (which makes him a baby fucking pedophile) and Bella gets pissed.
To makes a long, 4 book, story short, the ~*~Cullens~*~ *sparkle, sparkle* have this big war that naver happens against the (old wrinkly leader people) Vertolli (sp?)and they all end up loving (the evil little Mormon critter) and everyone lives happily ever after (forever and ever and ever).
Bonny- "LIEK OMG! I READ THIS FAN FIC CALLED THE TWILIGHT SAGA ABOUT A GIRL THAT'S LIKE EVERY OTHER AVERAGE GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE WHO MEETS A PRETTY SPARKLY VAMPIRE AND THEY FALL IN LOVE AND MAKE A MUTANT BABY! THE END!"
by Jamie Jame December 06, 2008
 
2.
the twilight saga was Stephenie Meyers way of trying to indoctrinate little girls minds by building them up with false hope i.e. an 'edward cullen', and making them go all hypified so that no guys will ever find a 'normal' girl.
thanks stephenie, for the twilight saga. how about next time you write a book with a much more moral meaning and take over the world with that? lets start with a book on healthy eating perhaps???
by Joss Jump January 26, 2009
 
3.
A book series by Stephenie Meyer. Probably infact the worse books in the history of time. These books are about sparkling vampires with a special power (By vampire I actually mean blood sucking pixie) and shapeshifters (Wolves).

It is a far fetched book about a girl named Isabella (Bella) Swan of about of seventeen that falls in love in a whiny, controlling, pedophile, stalker by the name of Edward Cullen. That is all you need to know about that.

In New Moon Edward leaves Bella "to keep her safe" or some shit. She ends up falling for Jacob Black (The leader wolf man, guy, person, whatever) also. It's funny, though. She claims she loves Eddie but yet she falls in love with Jake. In New Moon Bella pretty much thinks she can hear Edward by doing idiotic and reckless things. Such like jumping off a cliff and almost drowning. And she complains about this "hole" in her chest through out the book. So on, Alice and Bella run off to Italy to find Mr. Ed, blah. He comes back and propose to Bella. However, she doesn't really give him an answer until like the end of Eclipse, or something.

Eclipse pissed me off. And they turned Bella into a horny bitch at the end. And turned Jacob into a pig. I have NOTHING to say about it, only that is sucks and you shouldn't read it.

Breaking Dawn was really corny. Bella ends up getting pregnant with Eddie's child. The Pregnancy went fast. Killing Bella slowly as it grows inside her, blah, blah. She thinks she will have a boy. Named EJ (Edward Jacob) but ends up as a girl. She names her a retarted name that sounds like a disease (Renesmee). Heres a trippy moment. Jacob imprints on her. He gives her the nickname Nessie. (The nickname for the Loch Ness Monster.) Some failed battle at the end with the Vultori. I believe only one person died. It was pretty stupid.

Yeah, these books are a waste of time. D: If you like them you obviously have horrible taste.
The Twilight Saga ~~~~

-Twilight-
Bella - Hi.
Edward - Hi... You smell very etible.
Bella - Thanks.
Edward - I watch you when you sleep.
Bella - How flattering.
Edward - I love you.
Bella - Cool, me too.
Edward - *Plays baseball*
James - You brought a snack! >:D
Edward - *Growls*
Bella - *Gets bitten*
Edward - NUUUEEEE! -Sucks venom out-
Bella - :D

-New Moon-
Edward - I'm leaving now
Bella - Bye. I'll just sit here and be useless for a while.
Edward - Cool.
(Months later.)
Jacob - *Turns into a wolf*
Bella - Huh?
Jacob - HYPOCRITE!
(Moments later)
Bella - Edward!!! No!!!!
Edward - Oh, look, we're both alive. Amazing.
Bella - Yup.
Edward - Marry me?
Bella - Nope.

-Eclipes-
Edward - I love you
Bella - I love you, but I love jacob, too.
Jacob - Rawr.
Edward - *Censored*?!

-Breaking Dawn-
Bella - *Marries Edward*
Edward - Score!!
Bella - *Get's pregnant*
Edward - OH NOE! D:
Jacob - Wtf?
Bella - *Has baby*
Jacob - *Inprintes on Renesmee-
Bella - *Turns into a vampire*
Edward - Woooooo! *Takes Bella hunting*
*Vorturi attacks*
Edward - D: *Takes Aros hand*
Aro - I see. We'll kill you now.
Bella - NUUUE!!!!!

THE END!
by Emily Don S. August 20, 2009
 
4.
A girl's tragic decision between necrophilia or bestiality
A Summary of the ENTIRE Twilight Saga:
Damn! Do I want the ice cold, over controlling, soulless creature of night, or the super hairy wolf thing? The vampire! No, the werewolf! No, the vampire! No, BOTH!
by AnonymousSheep December 03, 2009
 
5.
A load of Bull Shit
~~~Twilight Saga~~~

Bella: I love you Edward!

Edward: I want to drink your blood.

Bella: I still love you.

Edward: Jesus Christ.
by Olave Llama August 17, 2010
 
6.
The quest of one teenage girl's tough, life changing decision between necrophilia and beastiality.
1. Bella: "I love to have sex with furry werewolves, but the marble-cold skin of the undead has an appeal all of its own. Whatever shall I do?"
Non-fan: "Kill yourself and end the Twilight Saga?"
Bella: "I'm gonna go with the gay one."
Non-fan: "Both?"
by Xalvix December 03, 2009
 
7.
This saga of books was derived from Stephanie Meyer's sick twisted fantasies, as admitted by the author herself. This book involves the following

-Two people falling in love purely for looks
-lack of character dynamics
-a creepy abusive vampire being accepted as an ideal boyfriend
-Vampires being portrayed as blood-thirsty fairies
-lack of knowledge of the difference between a ware wolf and an Animagus
-A Mary Sue who seems to know NOTHING about anything around her.
-lack of basic knowledge of chromosomes

Half of the paragraphs only talk about edward's eyes, and the other half are blunt, dull actions written out with overused words. This book seems to support necrophelia, pedophelia, and suicidal actions being taken because someone broke up with you.

In other words, don't read this book. And all the thumbs down for this are twilight fangirls who think they know everything.
Person1: have you read the Twilight Saga?
Person2: No, I read harry potter. JK Rowling actually knows something about magic and mythical creatures and relationships.

IE2

Retard 1: I just wrote a book based on my sexual fantasy
Retard 2: Great, another twilight saga.
Retard 1: Actually, I know what a vampire is, and I know ware wolves don't change at will and forgot who they really are. Besides, I don't even have those characters.
Retard 2: I guess that's okay.
by KT JDDD August 09, 2010