Despite being the narrator, Bella cannot be considered the heroine, or even a likable character, to due her frequent acts of falling in front of cars, throwing herself off cliffs, threatening suicide, and other dumb shit.
She has the typical "not your normal teenage girl" qualities, like clumsiness, academic intelligence, bookreading, and other traits that supposedly distinguish her from her peers. For example, she jokes that she is an "albino" and even reveals her knowledge of the word "misogynistic" (so witty! so clever!) but really, is overall an empty shell in which any other teenage girl can project her personality into and "identify" with. Also bears an uncanny resemblance to the books' author, Stephenie Meyer. Twilight would be a hell of a lot more readable without her running around, shrieking, fainting, and having seizures all over the place, and generally screwing things up.
She falls in love with the hot, mysterious guy at her school, and naturally, the hot guy becomes obsessed with her. His name is Edward, he's a vampire, and he craves her blood, which creates a fascinating dynamic between them, but a petty excuse to justify love on his part. (More like after 108 years, Edward woke up one day, realized he was the oldest virgin on the face of the planet and realized that he needed to tap that fast)
THe author asks the readers to believe that an intelligent and insanely hot vampire like Edward has never looked at any other girl, and plain, clumsy Bella is the only girl that has ever attracted him. Readers with sense roll their eyes, but the implausibility of the hot dangerous guy falling for the quiet, unattractive girl makes young virgins and bored housewives everywhere shriek. Twilight books fly off the shelves, and SM makes an instant fortune writing bad teenage high-school fantasy fanfiction.
The writing itself is also pretty terrible. While admittedly addictive, SM should be fined for her use of thesaurus-rape, and the endless descriptions of Edward's physical beauty is enough to make anyone hurl onto the book cover. It's sexy as hell, but more often than not proceeds like this:
Bella: I love you.
Edward: I like you too, but I might kill you and I need time to brood (instant fainting and sighs occur)
Bella: But I want you.
Edward: You're a moron for wanting me.
Bella: I dont like CARE YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS, stay with me or i'll like kill myself, your hair is so bronze and sexy OMG OMG
Then after reading the book you're amazed to find out that the whole series serves to present the overarching theme of Mormon chastity. Thus Edward and Bella doesn't get down and dirty until the fourth book, to everyone's disappointment (sexual tension is always better than doing the nasty, in which we dont even WANT to know how rock-hard Edward and delicate Bella get it on). The ending is of course, happy and shit. SM tries to get all Anne Rice/LOTR by writing about the Vulturi, a secret vampire order and shit, but it becomes very lame and in the end you don't care who they are.
Oh, and Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire, half-human fetus, and upon birth Edward has to tear it out of her stomach with his teeth. True story.
"You....made...me faint" I accused him dizzily.
"So much for being good at everything," he sighed.
"That's the problem." I was still dizzy. "You're TOO good. Far, far, too good at everything"
The new girl in school who is awkward and clumsy and terrible at everything. How many times have we seen and read this?
The new girl falling in love with the hottest guy in school (Edward). No one saw that coming.
Despite the new girl's awkwardness and plain looks, the hottest guy in school falls in love with her. The epitome of originality, am I right? *sarcasm*
The new girl is hopelessly in love with the hottest guy in school to the point where you want to slap her because she'll do literally everything and anything the hottest guy in school will tell her to do just for him.
The vampire (who is the hottest guy in school), despite his love for the new girl, thirsts for her blood and struggles to control his bloodlust. Wow.
The vampire is a good vampire who doesn't want to hurt humans, so he feeds off of animals instead. *cough* Louis from Interview with the Vampire *cough*
The vampire thinks he's a monster and that the new girl should stay away from him if she values her life, but of course the new girl risks her life to be with him.
The new girl would rather die than not be with the vampire, which is the stupidest thing anyone on this Earth can ever say. Yes, I understand she's madly and hopelessly and stupidly in love with him, but you only get one life. She isn't even considerate of the family members she would leave behind who would mourn her death.
There is no plot to the story. It's just a bunch of events that happens between Bella and Edward.
The writing in the beginning is so plain, and even though it does get better, it's still not good.
There's no figuritive language and not much description. The only thing the author seems to describe is Edward's appearence. Every other freaking sentence is talking about this muscular arms or smile or face or eyes or hair. It's like she created this book to produce a bazillion teenaged fangirls who are obsessed with Edward and don't care about the rest of the story. There really is nothing original about this book. Nothing that the author has come up with on her own.
It's pretty much your cliche vampire romance novel.
Despite all this, I still love it because it's addicting, but terrible.
"No! He's mine! I read the book first! So he's mine first!"
"We'll split him in half and share him!"
"Wow....if you think Twilight is the best book in the world...then, seriously, no comment."
There's no character development at all, and the protaganist, Bella Swan, would die without Edward, which leaves some of us to believe that she may, in fact, be a zombie due to the fact that she probably died sometime before the story even took place (thanks to her knack for falling in front of cars and other bullshit).
This book is so bad that I actually couldn't stomach to read it. I read more of Jane Austen than I did of Twilight. And I hate Jane Austen.
Read this if you want to look like an idiot in front of someone who isn't.
That was awesome, it really left me thinking differently and feeling differently... I think it really did make a difference/imprint/something.
Example of a conversation about Twilight:
EDWARD IS SOOOOOO HAAAWWWTTT <3<3<3<3 luvluvluvluvluv edward culleennnn i'm MRS. CULLLENNN.... CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT???? WTF IS THAT!?
The majority of the book is dialogue and lacks any use of literary devices and/or elements that truly make a story. With little to no description and two-dimensional characters that are the very definitions of "Mary-sue" and "Gary-stu," this story belongs on fanfiction.net, not in bookstores.
She can't go five minutes without talking about how gorgeous Edward is, and it's clear she's living out some sick, fangirl fantasy and getting money off of it.
It's popularity is only based on the fact that Edward Cullen is supposedly "godly" and the sexiest man alive. He's fictional and practically grey colored. Get over it.
Bella is stupid. She's whiney and clingy, like most Mary-sues. Edward is has no personality. He needs to just bite the stupid girl already and get on with his sparkly-suicidal-vampire life.
Love stories are great, this however, is garbage. The way they fall in love is stupid and shallow and based on looks and lust alone. What kind of message is that?
It's trash. Pure trash.
Please, go take an AP Lit class or pick up a novel by Austen or Hurston and you'll understand...or maybe you won't, Twilight Fans tend to be lacking in brain cells.
Nonfan: I don't think vampires are supposed to sparkle though....
Fangirl: OMGWTFASLDFJAOSDIHWEONALSDGKLAHDSG!!!! EDWARD IS TEH AWESOMENESS!!!
Nonfan: ...And the book lacks any form or real character development...
Fangirl: OMG EDWARD IS SO HAWT STFU!
Nonfan: Uh...I think I'm going to go call 911...
Can i hear a Cullen knows best over here????
a quote from twilight that has been edited so you don't get brainwashed
"Edward, what about ROSALIE?!"
"She means nothing to me, but what about Mike?!"
"Ugh you have nothing to worry about! Please don't try to kill yourself again! I mean, I don't really like Italy, maybe if the Volturi could relocate to Paris?"
"Isabella. I feel as though you are not taking me seriously. Are you shagging Jacob on the side??"
Despite the length of the books, I find it to be a fairly poor piece of literature. I have read the first two, and the two main characters completely lack origionality. Bella is nothing but a sniveling girl who takes advantage of some people, and then grovels at the feet of others. Edward is obviously a vampire thirsty for, ironically, Bella's blood, and at the same time he is abstinant from drinking from humans. In all sense Edward should draw himself away from such a 'dangerous'individual-- that or eat her. Many people fail to notice that the characters circulating around the main pair, such as Alice, Jasper, Jacob, and the rest of the crew are a lot more interesting, and less involved in cliche lives to match those of the main characters.
In any case. It's an entertaining book to read when you have nothing else to do, but there are many better books to read.
Me: No, personally I'm more partial to Jasper.
Twilight fanatic: Well I love Bella too. They're so great together!
Me: Actually, I think Alice is a much better character in the series. The relationship that she has with Jasper is cuter, more secretive, and I find a whole lot more interesting to read about.
Twilight fan: ...Yeah... well -denial-