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7.
Probably one of the most popular books to hit the shelf in 2006, following through with 2007 sequals. Many girls of their early teen years have absolutely fallen in love with this book, and it's caused a rabid swarm of binders and notebooks sporting the words 'I love Edward Cullen.' I blame the books on a higher rate of girls believing themselves to be dark and alone, and this book has caused quite a few of the people I know to believe they are vampires.

Despite the length of the books, I find it to be a fairly poor piece of literature. I have read the first two, and the two main characters completely lack origionality. Bella is nothing but a sniveling girl who takes advantage of some people, and then grovels at the feet of others. Edward is obviously a vampire thirsty for, ironically, Bella's blood, and at the same time he is abstinant from drinking from humans. In all sense Edward should draw himself away from such a 'dangerous'individual-- that or eat her. Many people fail to notice that the characters circulating around the main pair, such as Alice, Jasper, Jacob, and the rest of the crew are a lot more interesting, and less involved in cliche lives to match those of the main characters.

In any case. It's an entertaining book to read when you have nothing else to do, but there are many better books to read.
Twilight fanatic: I'm an Edwardist. I love Edward. Are you?
Me: No, personally I'm more partial to Jasper.
Twilight fanatic: Well I love Bella too. They're so great together!
Me: Actually, I think Alice is a much better character in the series. The relationship that she has with Jasper is cuter, more secretive, and I find a whole lot more interesting to read about.
Twilight fan: ...Yeah... well -denial-
by Rilyne August 15, 2007
3274 1466
 
8.
Biggest pile of shit ever written. Gotta love the hidden underlying Mormon morals.
That 100 year old non-human with no blood is so hot and he sparkles! I don't care if he's physically incapable of getting a boner because he has no blood, I'm gonna get myself pregnant from him anyway! -Twilight series
by candytrip August 04, 2008
1478 461
 
9.
the synthesis (or line, if it is it is knida blurry), of light and dark that begins with the ending of the day and the beginning of darkness. or, the change from dark to light.
The twilight was suddenly upon us and we were cuaght in an abyss if chaos.
by Chaos Deity October 06, 2005
1631 706
 
10.
A series about vampires that is guarenteed to make you 25% dumber each time you read it.
Twilight raped my brain.
by bagbird January 09, 2009
1081 194
 
11.
See shit
Oh that book twilight is shit.
by Chippppp April 09, 2009
973 144
 
12.
The entire series is just Meyer (no - wait, my mistake - Bella) swooning over how lucky she is to have such a great he man (aka strong fag), Edward. Edward is from a clan of pussy vampires who never drink human blood. They also have no other vampiristic qualities, so they might as well be Chupacabras. THEN there's the Blacks, an Indian Tribe (so Meyer's got her mix of negro-allusions and redskins) which prominently features Jacob, a boy who, aside from loving Bella for no good reason, is...um... a vampire/shapeshifter?

So Edward is (aside from incredibly beautiful and gorgeous and oh-so-Adonis) very stony. He's often compared to marble, granite and limestone. Alright, not limestone. That's me.

Bella is your ho-hum average bitch with nothing better to do than fall in front of cars, rapists, other vampires, werewolf/transformers and other unbelievable scenarios. She always has Mr. Sparkles to get her ass outta trouble.

Breaking Dawn was the shit (literally). She fawns over Edward and when they do it, they get it DONE. Edward beats the bloody mess out of her without her noticing because I guess getting fucked by a marble cock is mezmerizing enough to not notice you're being bruised like a beat-down banana. Ed is too afraid to hump her again, but Bella seduces him (???~!!!!) with the sorriest lines and he does her again. This time he can focus his horny powers and busts the headboard open. And, oh yeah, bites pillows. Because to 12-30+ year old women, men who bite pillows are fierce lovemakers. Honestly, I'd be wondering what the fuck his problem was.

I stopped there (I'd been looking for reading-porn, but this was ridiculous) but from what I heard, Bella goes all Alien and has a kid go BLAM from her cooch in a hard placenta. She spits up "fountains" (meyer's own words) of blood. Nice. But the bitch don't die.

In the end a huge, built up battle never happens, Jacob Black is destined to fall in love with their kid (further enforcing Meyer's pedo dreams) and Bella and Edward have buttsex till the nerves in her ass go raw.

Meyer is a vain, self-inserting, mormopedophile. It's a good idea that went wrong after the first sentence. I picked up that book when I heard the concept (BEFORE it got popular) and put it down the same day. Someone had to force me to read the damn thing later. I knew nothing of literature at the time - all I knew was that it sucked heavy ass. When we've got the same people who recommend The Catcher in the Rye or Harry Potter or a Clockwork Orange recommending this bullshit, I seriously fear for our future. And I may sound overdramatic with that, but I'm dead serious. Me and my few not-Twitarded friends fight HARD because that book is seriously embarrassing. I thought Sarah Dessen was bad, but Meyer is fucked in the head.
Twilight sucks more ass than a vacuum glued to JLo.

Even Robert Pattinson knows it's stupid, he's said it himself.

Stephenie Meyer is a pedophile and I hope she reads this so she'll know that we know her secret. Making kids fall in love with people that old, WHAT'S HER MOTHERFUCKIN PROBLEM?

Edward loves the whisper song because when he banged Bella, he really beat the pussy up.
by talking space monkeys August 13, 2008
1169 523
 
13.
Everyone seems to refer to Twilight (the people who hate it, that is) as a stupid book for teenie-boppers that makes 13 year old girls brainwashed.
And people say 13 year olds have absolutely no idea whats wrong with Twilight and that they're all stupid and don't know good literature and that the "teenie-boppers" are blind to Bella's Mary-Sueness.
Thats partially true.
1) Fuck you. I'm 13.
2) Bella is a nagging, whiny, Mary Sue who says corny things and needs to stfu already about banging Edward. All she wants is to get some. In Breaking Dawn she DID get some, and got knocked up.
Then she gave birth to the mutant, showoffy, "look at me, I'm one month old and I can speak in proper sentences!" Nessie that Jacob unfortunately has to be the soulmate of.
Edward is boring and wears khaki pants and thinks he can get away with it.
It has no morals or actual point.
The AMAZINGG ending of the AMAZING story?:
Bella becomes a vampire soccermom, Edward finally got laid, Rosalie almost killed Bella with a scalpel (too bad she didnt) and there was absolutely NO AWESOME WAR,
Seriously. I wanted a fucking war. I wanted the Volturi's limbs to be flying everywhere as the Cullens get torn apart in a tangle of Werewolves and sparkly people.
But no. Breaking Dawn was wedding, knocked up, Nessie, the end.
Also, Stephenie Meyer spoils Bella with dresses, amazing weddings, fancy food and pretty much give Stephenie Meyer whatever she wants.
LAME.
I'd write more but I need to go.
Dont give me a thumbsdown, you know its true, fangirls.
Alsooo,
STFU about this "13 year old teenie bopper"s hit.
I'm 13 and I'm not a fucking fangirl.
Twilight is amazing, somehow. I'll never let go of it. Even though I now opened my eyes to its TOTAL SUCKAGE.
Well, with Bella and Edward atleast.
The Volturi are pretty flyyyy.
by myspace.com/missmurder046 September 22, 2008
1071 463
 
14.
A badly written book by Stephenie Meyer about a sparkling "vampire" *coughfairycough* named Gary-SueCullen who falls in love with a human, Mary-Sue Swan.

Gary-Sue is an abusive, 100 year old virgin stuck in the body of a 17 year old. Mary-Sue is a complete idiot who can't think or do things for herself. Gary-Sue loves Mary-Sue ONLY because of the way she smells. (Time of the mont, amirite?) Mary-Sue only loves Gary-Sue because he's "hot", cold to the touch and his skin is as hard as stone. (Statue fetish, anyone?)

Mary-Sue also falls in love with Pedo Bear the werewolf.

Gary-Sue promises he'll never leave Mary-Sue and that he'll always love her. Then he dumps her and Mary-sue flings herself off a cliff because she's so emo and can't live without her sparklepire boyfriend.

Later on Gary-Sue fucks Mary-Sue so hard it hurts her and gets Mary-Sue pregnant and rips the baby out of Mary-Sue's stomach with his teeth.

Because Pedo Bear could not score with Mary-Sue, he imprints on the infant vampire mutant... demon... thing, making her his future wife. In 7 or so years the baby has the body of an 18 year old and Pedo Bear is happy.
Twitard: Like, OMG! Twilight is so deep and well thought out and the plot is UHMAZING!! It's an UUUUHHHHHMAAAAZZZZIIINNNGGG BUUUUUUKKK!!!!!!!

Normal person: No, Twilight does not have a plot, the writing sucks and it's nothing more than a 35 year old's wet dream of underage fairies.

Twitard: EXCUSE ME? HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS YOU'RE NOT PRETTY LIKE BELLA AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE ANYONE LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN BURN IN HELL, LESBIAN BITCH!
by The lol Bandit May 10, 2009
593 97