You have to get over the "sparkles in sunlight means not a real vampire" obsession and look past the lameocity of the story line. Really the vampire thing is just for a climax.
Teenage girl's who want to save themselves for marriage need to get off too.
It doesn't matter how cliche it ends up being on the teenage romance junky story line, there's a few crucial less failure points. Oh doesn't it make the teenage virgins go wild. Why are your panties getting wet? You've got orgasm.
Almost completely not cliche themes:
1. The average love-struck teenager novel ends up being the "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from cheating on you" reaction: want to vomit up ravioli. Twilight puts a twist to the average teenage romance "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from peircing you with my teeth and sucking your blood till there is only a suringe full left then I will shoot it up and stay high off you till my eye's turn black again. Reaction: triggers minor acid reflex, still tastes better than ravioli vomit.
2. Other teenage love-triangle novels use terms such as "I'm going to shoot your boyfriend in the head to earn your love. Friggen Loser I'll beat him. Let's have babies."
Twilight's Twist: "I'm going to rip off your boyfriend's head with my teeth and continue to mouth rape his stone flesh until he is in a few major pieces then insert them into the bon-fire as my tribe tells stories of our ancestor's doing the same to the other bastards of his clan. All to earn your love. Friggen Lice I'll treat him. Let's have puppies."
3. When the average girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend little preparation involved shaved legs, new allegedly sexy scent here and there then she lays down on the bed and finally lets him in between her legs "I just stole my sister's birth control *wink wink*" all he has to say is "Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you. You're positive? Okay."
Twilight Version: When a Twilighted girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend she has to be coniving and convincing to seduce him. Maybe a little papercut here or a bloody popped zit there. "I just started my period wanna taste *wink wink*?" But all he's ever interested in is souls. "I've killed people so if I want to have any chance of getting into Heaven I need to save myself until marriage."
These non-failure, hardly cliche at all themes and many more can be found in 700 out of 3,000 pages of the Twilight Saga.
A freakishly addicting book (stolen from a fan fic site) written by a strange middle aged woman who (has sexual fantacies about this) created this character named ~*~Edward~*~ who *sparkle, sparkle* in the sun light, instead of burting into flame like normal vampires. Then theres his (stupid and patheticly clumbsy) girlfriend, Bella (who's a whore) who falls in love with her BFF Jake then rejects him cause he's (A million times not possesive and dosn't hate himself)not like Edward. And he's a werewolf so Edward hates him. Then she gets knocked up (About 40 billion times (cause she's a necrophiliac whore)by Edward and they make a baby (that wants to kill her). After having Renesmee (a name that was created using a mormon thing where the names of both grandparents are combined) Bella dies and becomes a vampy. Then come to find out Jachob falls madly in love with Renesmee (which makes him a baby fucking pedophile) and Bella gets pissed.
To makes a long, 4 book, story short, the ~*~Cullens~*~ *sparkle, sparkle* have this big war that naver happens against the (old wrinkly leader people) Vertolli (sp?)and they all end up loving (the evil little Mormon critter) and everyone lives happily ever after (forever and ever and ever).
Bonny- "LIEK OMG! I READ THIS FAN FIC CALLED THE TWILIGHT SAGA ABOUT A GIRL THAT'S LIKE EVERY OTHER AVERAGE GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE WHO MEETS A PRETTY SPARKLY VAMPIRE AND THEY FALL IN LOVE AND MAKE A MUTANT BABY! THE END!"
the twilight saga was Stephenie Meyers way of trying to indoctrinate little girls minds by building them up with false hope i.e. an 'edward cullen', and making them go all hypified so that no guys will ever find a 'normal' girl.
thanks stephenie, for the twilight saga. how about next time you write a book with a much more moral meaning and take over the world with that? lets start with a book on healthy eating perhaps???
A book series by Stephenie Meyer. Probably infact the worse books in the history of time. These books are about sparkling vampires with a special power (By vampire I actually mean blood sucking pixie) and shapeshifters (Wolves).more...
It is a far fetched book about a girl named Isabella (Bella) Swan of about of seventeen that falls in love in a whiny, controlling, pedophile, stalker by the name of Edward Cullen. That is all you need to know about that.
In New Moon Edward leaves Bella "to keep her safe" or some shit. She ends up falling for Jacob Black (The leader wolf man, guy, person, whatever) also. It's funny, though. She claims she loves Eddie but yet she falls in love with Jake. In New Moon Bella pretty much thinks she can hear Edward by doing idiotic and reckless things. Such like jumping off a cliff and almost drowning. And she complains about this "hole" in her chest through out the book. So on, Alice and Bella run off to Italy to find Mr. Ed, blah. He comes back and propose to Bella. However, she doesn't really give him an answer until like the end of Eclipse, or something.
Eclipse pissed me off. And they turned Bella into a horny bitch at the end. And turned Jacob into a pig. I have NOTHING to say about it, only that is sucks and you shouldn't read it.
Breaking Dawn was really corny. Bella ends up getting pregnant with Eddie's child. The Pregnancy went fast. Killing Bella slowly as it grows inside her, blah, blah. She thinks she will have a boy. Named EJ (Edward Ja...
A girl's tragic decision between necrophilia or bestiality
A Summary of the ENTIRE Twilight Saga:
Damn! Do I want the ice cold, over controlling, soulless creature of night, or the super hairy wolf thing? The vampire! No, the werewolf! No, the vampire! No, BOTH!
The quest of one teenage girl's tough, life changing decision between necrophilia and beastiality.
1. Bella: "I love to have sex with furry werewolves, but the marble-cold skin of the undead has an appeal all of its own. Whatever shall I do?"
Non-fan: "Kill yourself and end the Twilight Saga?"
Bella: "I'm gonna go with the gay one."
A load of Bull Shit
Bella: I love you Edward!
Edward: I want to drink your blood.
Bella: I still love you.
Edward: Jesus Christ.
This saga of books was derived from Stephanie Meyer's sick twisted fantasies, as admitted by the author herself. This book involves the following
-Two people falling in love purely for looks
-lack of character dynamics
-a creepy abusive vampire being accepted as an ideal boyfriend
-Vampires being portrayed as blood-thirsty fairies
-lack of knowledge of the difference between a ware wolf and an Animagus
-A Mary Sue
who seems to know NOTHING about anything around her.
-lack of basic knowledge of chromosomes
Half of the paragraphs only talk about edward's eyes, and the other half are blunt, dull actions written out with overused words. This book seems to support necrophelia, pedophelia, and suicidal actions being taken because someone broke up with you.
In other words, don't read this book. And all the thumbs down for this are twilight fangirls who think they know everything.
Person1: have you read the Twilight Saga?
Person2: No, I read harry potter. JK Rowling actually knows something about magic and mythical creatures and relationships.
Retard 1: I just wrote a book based on my sexual fantasy
Retard 2: Great, another twilight saga.
Retard 1: Actually, I know what a vampire is, and I know ware wolves don't change at will and forgot who they really are. Besides, I don't even have those characters.
Retard 2: I guess that's okay.