Death in a Bottle (DIAB) Drug Description - provides up to 12-hour relief per dose, but a lifetime of bad memories. Hydrocodone is a centrally-acting toxic sludge, designed to attack every sense. This then produces an intense distraction from the pain and may even cause the patient to blackout. This blackout period can range anywhere between 5 hours to 7 days. Care must be taken in order to ensure the survival of the victim/patient. Chlorpheniramine is an Opiate that prevents the person from feeling the lethal concoction crawling through his or her veins. DIAB is for non-use only. DIAB should not be taken, period. If one insists, only take this deadly brew once every 4-5 years and in fractional increments. Any more than a gram of the stuff can cause internal bleeding and immediate loss of sight and control of one's bowel movements.
Vomiting - This is due to the putrid smell reaching one's nose and causing them to lose their bearings to the surrounding world, this effect is similar to seasickness.
Hatred - The side effect can be the most substantial. Ever since DIAB was created, the divorce rate has been increasing dramatically. Many scientists say that they have a direct correlation, but that is debatable. It is believed that anyone who takes the medicine experiences the "HULK" Effect. Extreme strength and irritability are often felt and this causes many domestic disputes which eventually lead to neighborhood brawls of epic proportions. (On a side note, DIAB has also caused some good in the world. A mother actually lifted a car while using DIAB to save her son's life. It was not reported, however, how she beat him later for not putting the toilet seat down after his use. DIAB is a harsh mistress.)
Do not use anything other than stainless steel to handle Death in a Bottle. Use of any other type of material may cause spontaneous combustion upon the liquid's contact. Do not allow the ooze-like toxic substance to crawl back into it's nest (aka container) You poured it out for a reason and it damn well better behave properly! DO NOT ALLOW IT TO TOUCH YOUR TONGUE! If for any reason it does come in contact with this muscle, immediately cut it off. If you do not, it will cause a lifetime of agony that no therapist can cure. Trust me, I am now dead on the inside.
Fear - Another common side-effect is fear itself. There has been many cases of fear and panic spreading throughout an area just from the mere mention of DIAB. One unofficial record of DIAB's effect is "The War of the Worlds" radio broadcast. If you tuned in to the Columbia Broadcasting System on October 30, 1938 Just after the opening theme of Piano Concerto No. 1, by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, the microphone flips on about 3 seconds too early and catches Orson Welles gagging and exclaiming his hatred of Tussionex. "Damn Death in a Bottle!" And he proceeds to vomit on the studio floor. A few minutes later, they continued on with the show. The microphones shut off immediately after he uttered the phrase, but it was too late. Panic ensued with many people fleeing the New York Area from Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) associated with DIAB.
Death - Another small side effect of DIAB is, well. DEATH of course. Many people experience heart stoppage upon the entry of this "medicine" into their system. Many doctors have explained the cause of this as the "Double Influx Effect" or DIE. When the body swallows a substance, such as Death in a Bottle, it immediately tries to reject and expel to fluid, but DIAB is designed to prevent this. When DIAB detects the body's defense mechanisms, it springs into action exploding the user's heart. This is caused by the "Pre-Oxidization Pulsation" or POP. A user is often unable to breath after tasting/smelling such a fowl mixture as DIAB, which causes DIAB to enter it's POP phase. Oxygen is needed in order to prevent this occurrence, but many users cannot overcome this sensory attack and perish in the process.