You know what a turd is: a piece of shit.

All good poofters and dykes know how to have fun with turds: they just fist their buddies and pull turds right out of the poop chute. But there are other ways to have fun with turds. Here's how to make turd puppets of your least favorite characters.
Tie a pretty red ribbon around one end of a turd. Presto! You have a Blood!
Tie a pretty blue ribbon around one end of a turd and you have a Crip!
Put a big dab of grease on one end of a turd and you have a Pachuco!
Put a clump of yellow thread on one end of a turd and you have Hillary Clinton!
Stick a cell phone on one side of a turd and a Starbucks cup on the other side. Stick it in the driver's seat of a minivan or an SUV and you have a soccer mom!
Stick a handful of credit cards into a turd and plop it in the driver's seat of any car with an automatic transmission. You have a Yuppie!
Stick a woodent mallet into a turd and plop it on a walnut desk. You have an activist liberal judge! Odor in the court, the judge is eating beans.
Isn't this fun? Practice at home and you can have fun with turds too!

by Delicious Tuna Wanda October 11, 2007
A man who dodges work to avoid having to pay child support for his child/children.

Regardless of lack of income, has a major drinking/drug habit.

Appearance is sloppy, wearing sweat pants and house shoes everywhere he goes.

May or may not be found in the following locations: liquor store, his mama's couch, child support court, some obscure location where child support will never be able to find him.
Will not be found operating a motor vehicle; child support took his license years ago.
I broke up with ____ because he's a turd. I'm tired of driving him around and buying his beer all the time. He should quit running from child support and get a job!
by missQz February 02, 2010
A word used to describe cadets. It is an acronym for, "trainees under rapid development."
Get over here turds!
by ElCaptain July 24, 2009
a turd is simply a very small single piece of poop, about the size of "bite size" candies or snacks
yeah i was on the john and i got one big log and a couple lil turds
by Panther41 April 29, 2008
1. Something worthless that can't be improved.
2. An expression of worthlessness
1. You can't polish a turd
2. "There are three kinds of turd, musturd, custurd and you, you big shit!"
by Duw November 06, 2013
A term of ENDEARMENT often used by cute girls to get the attention of the most awesome people they know, often is a bad ass mofo. Turds are often imitated but never duplicated. sexy amazing ill the ish
"Damn Turd just found the cure to cancer, ended world hunger, and brought peace to the whole world!!!"
by Mrs. Lerman August 21, 2013
A long coiled piece of poop often found on crosby beach. Always stepped on and often common in dogs.
There's a turd on my foot!
by The turdanator September 27, 2010
A peice of fecal matter
That turd looks like clinger from M.A.S.H!
by Steve-o2124334 August 20, 2007

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