You know what a turd is: a piece of shit.

All good poofters and dykes know how to have fun with turds: they just fist their buddies and pull turds right out of the poop chute. But there are other ways to have fun with turds. Here's how to make turd puppets of your least favorite characters.
Tie a pretty red ribbon around one end of a turd. Presto! You have a Blood!
Tie a pretty blue ribbon around one end of a turd and you have a Crip!
Put a big dab of grease on one end of a turd and you have a Pachuco!
Put a clump of yellow thread on one end of a turd and you have Hillary Clinton!
Stick a cell phone on one side of a turd and a Starbucks cup on the other side. Stick it in the driver's seat of a minivan or an SUV and you have a soccer mom!
Stick a handful of credit cards into a turd and plop it in the driver's seat of any car with an automatic transmission. You have a Yuppie!
Stick a woodent mallet into a turd and plop it on a walnut desk. You have an activist liberal judge! Odor in the court, the judge is eating beans.
Isn't this fun? Practice at home and you can have fun with turds too!

by Delicious Tuna Wanda October 11, 2007
1. Something worthless that can't be improved.
2. An expression of worthlessness
1. You can't polish a turd
2. "There are three kinds of turd, musturd, custurd and you, you big shit!"
by Duw November 06, 2013
A piece of poop, or poop in general. Also can be used in replacement as crap.
*screams* "You scared the turd out of me!"
by The Poop Expert January 30, 2011
what i found smeared all over my boxers when i woke up this morning.
turds are cool except when they come out unintentionally.
by gh0stk1d August 01, 2006
Descriptive term for shit generally used in a jocular fashion
"Sign for Rangers?" - I'd rather eat my own turd
by Astutebhoy May 20, 2006
Turds is the plural version of a Turd. A Turd is usually a person who is in social senses looked down upon or despised. In basic terms, they aren't liked at all, usually by a lot of people/by the majority of people. Turds think they are cool, when actually they are not. They act like something they clearly aren't, and try so hard at it that in almost all cases, it bugs people, hence why they aren't liked by many. Turds will try acting cool with you in person, when really you don't like them at all, but you have to play cool too because you don't want any beef; to get in a fight with them; cause trouble, tensions, e.t.c.

Turds may try to act cool, like big shots, act super happy all the time but in a clearly fakish manner, act athletic when you know they're garbage and suck at what they try and do (a lot of Turds are Try-Hards and will try their best at something to give off the appearance that they are good when realy they aren't. For example like a game of basketball, just to compete with people who are actually good and aren't even trying). A Turd comes in very close proximity to the definition of a fake/a fake person/fakes/e.t.c. Turds can only be described in their own word to give off the exact description, but they are a combination of looser, lame, very hated, usually very ugly, try-hard, and fake.
Example 1:

Turd - "Hey, come here!"

Johnson- "Aughhhh, *Rolls eyes* Alright.... *Turns to Philip* Man, I really don't want to talk to these guys, but I gotta be nice. I guess I should just tough it out and go over there and talk to them. God I'm such a nice guy"

Philip *Johnson's buddy Philip* - "Dude, what are you doing? Don't go over there! Those guys are Turds!"

Johnson - "You're right. *Turns to the group of Turds* Sorry guys, I gotta get going, I'm late for class"

Turd - "Alright man, see you around next time!"

Example 2:

Guy - "Man, Tyler Elkins is just such a Turd"
Guy 2 - "Tell me about it. He thinks he's so cool and raw when really he isn't. The guy's such a Turd"

Example 3:

Guy - Don't get me wrong, Alaska's (Nick-name) a really cool guy, but sometimes he can just be such a Turd. He definitely has his Turd-moments.
by JohnnyCashHPC4LIFE February 04, 2012
a big long sturdy peice of brown leaking SHIT!!!! cumming out of my ass.
i took a turd so big it lifted me off the toilet seat
by tit fuck bitch March 06, 2010
A person who's personality reeks, assumingly of poop.
Every job has it's share of turds with whom you have to work.
by Ingaling February 14, 2010

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