You know what a turd is: a piece of shit.

All good poofters and dykes know how to have fun with turds: they just fist their buddies and pull turds right out of the poop chute. But there are other ways to have fun with turds. Here's how to make turd puppets of your least favorite characters.
Tie a pretty red ribbon around one end of a turd. Presto! You have a Blood!
Tie a pretty blue ribbon around one end of a turd and you have a Crip!
Put a big dab of grease on one end of a turd and you have a Pachuco!
Put a clump of yellow thread on one end of a turd and you have Hillary Clinton!
Stick a cell phone on one side of a turd and a Starbucks cup on the other side. Stick it in the driver's seat of a minivan or an SUV and you have a soccer mom!
Stick a handful of credit cards into a turd and plop it in the driver's seat of any car with an automatic transmission. You have a Yuppie!
Stick a woodent mallet into a turd and plop it on a walnut desk. You have an activist liberal judge! Odor in the court, the judge is eating beans.
Isn't this fun? Practice at home and you can have fun with turds too!

by Delicious Tuna Wanda October 11, 2007

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what i found smeared all over my boxers when i woke up this morning.
turds are cool except when they come out unintentionally.
by gh0stk1d August 01, 2006

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1. Something worthless that can't be improved.
2. An expression of worthlessness
1. You can't polish a turd
2. "There are three kinds of turd, musturd, custurd and you, you big shit!"
by Duw November 06, 2013

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turn towards
Okay class tu'rds the board.
by Frank Figlestein September 01, 2010

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Someone who is so socially awkward in a party atmosphere. They are as awkward as going to the bathroom and finding a "turd" still floating in the toliet. It wasnt yours and you dont want it to be there.
That girl was such a "turd" last night. She had one drink a threw up on my bed.
by kmcglanz February 26, 2010

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Descriptive term for shit generally used in a jocular fashion
"Sign for Rangers?" - I'd rather eat my own turd
by Astutebhoy May 20, 2006

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The waste product that comes from our ass - also known as shit, poo, and crap.

Also used a derogatory term for black people, or to say that you think something/someone is no good.
"I went to the toilet and left a fucking massive turd in the toilet."

"Yo, I almost got drive-byd today. Fucking turds."

"That maths paper was a fuckin' turd."
by Shaneo632 October 26, 2004

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A gay male who usually has a first name that starts with the letter "T". They generally try to hide their sexuality by acting like "players".
Did that turd try to get with you too?
by Margarette ;) February 07, 2010

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