The crappiest place on earth. (Not counting Indio)
. Certainly there are places that absolutely suck
, & Tujunga
is CLEARLY one of the top 5 suckiest
of all time. In my opinion, Tujunga sucks so thoroughly that I don't think anyone could ever exaggerate the colossal ceaseless immensity of the suckage in the slightest! Dyson vacuums
, interplanetary space
, super-massive black holes
, your mom
, hell,... EVERYTHING loses suction rather quickly when measured against Tujunga.
Tujunga is undeniably "Omnivacuous": all- sucking
Which is why the Meteorological community now universally accepts as fact, that it is windy in Glendale
, La Crescenta
, La Canada
, Shadow Hills
, Lake View Terrace
, & even occasionally Arleta
, & parts of the Santa Clarita Valley
, simply BECAUSE Tujunga SUCKS
I can't say that I actually have proof, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if "Tujunga" is early 1900's regional slang meaning "to suck beyond human understanding, for all time, just because." ...or maybe it's an ancient word from a long forgotten native tongue meaning "place to which all winds blow"
People say the only 2 things that can reliably be counted on are death & taxes,.... WRONG! There are 3 things that are eternal: Death
, & the unassailable fact that Tujunga sucks!!
I'm not worried about going to Hell when I die,... I lived in Tujunga
Tujunga is the land of hillbillies, rejects, lifted trucks, and bros. Everyone knows each other. If you don't escape from this town, you will eventually become a toothless tweeker. All the homeless people who walk down Foothill Blvd. day and night look like the people from Hills Have Eyes.
Bro #1:I like your Metal Mulisha shirt bro, where you from?
Bro #2:TUJUNGA BRO
bum 1 from l.a.: where ya from?
bum2 fom tujunga
: im from tujunga (saying it quietly)
bum1 from l.a.: HAHHAH LOSER!
BUM2 FROM TUJUNGA: *runs away crying*
An ancient Samoan war challenge. It is completed by hitting each side of your chest with the opposite hand, and then shouting, in a deep, war-like voice "TUJUNGA!" The performer of the challenge must look the opponent directly in the eyes while performing it.
Person being challenged: "Your mom is a whore."
Challenger: After hitting chest "TUJUNGA!"
War will then ensue.