The only instument that matters.
The Soul of the band.
The definition of size matters.
A huge brass chick magnet.
The instrument of the gods.
Without a Tuba you have a group of instruments, with one, you have a BAND.
Girl: So you're in Band?
Girl: What instrument do you play?
Girl: Your place or mine?
the greatest instrument known to man.
band member one: I wish i played the tuba, it owns
tuba player: hell ya bitch
only thee coolest instrument known to man. jocks admire tuba players. cheerleaders want to do tuba players. It originated back in the late 1790s when a man named corneilious tuba was picking up tons of hot babes in his hometown. He needed a cool club or something to separate him so everyone would know that he was the man. so saw a baritone in a local pawn shop and thought of how much of a pussy instrument it was, so he looked at the trombone. he decided that it too was a pussy instument. then he bought 17 trombones and 40 baritones and took them home. Mr. tuba then worked for 23 straight hours building thee most manly of manly instruments. When it was created he learned how to jam some sweet tunes and then went out to town to test the beast. As soon as he stepped out of his wagon the ladies flocked to him like the ones on the axe commercials. a young boy saw this and told his friends about it. the beast was from then on known as the tuba. to this day only the elite play this monsterosity and they still pick up all the hot babes.
"did you know hugh hefner played the tuba?"
You have sucessfully played the tuba when you do the following. Find a girl over 200lbs. Have her mount you in the 69 position. Make sure her right leg lies between your right shoulder and neck. If she's limber she might even be able to wrap her fat leg behind your back. Her other leg should be in the normal 69 position with her calf, ankle and foot behind your back. She has now mounted you much like a person carries a tuba. Now blow air into her gelatinous ass untill she plays you a massive musical fart.
It was almost 2am, so I settled on some fat chick. I took her home and played her like a tuba! Maybe next time I’ll give her the Texas Tongue Torch
a low-brass instrument, a nobler instrument than that of a trombone.
The tuba is an instrument superior to all other instruments.
A regal instrument that is played by very beautiful, talented people.
1. The case can be used to hide dead bodies
2. A tuba can be used to hide illegal substances or as an enormous marijuana pipe
Dude, I got high while playing the tuba...
When the entire orchestra absolutely, positively MUST be overpowered.
Wow! That tuba player in Ride of the Valkyries was awesome!
Yeah! I paid for an orchestra seat and ended up with a massage chair!
the best freakin instrument in the whole band... tubas...are...GODS
i play tuba and i am the best i am a god..... all bow down to the almighty tuba!