1) True Captain DOES NOT BUY BOOTS
2) True Captain: faceless void is the true carry, every other hero is support
3) True Captain runs away at full HP. he needs to survive... for the greater good.
4) True Captain never hesitates to run from a illusion with a chronosphere.
5) True Captain never buys bottle, he gets void stone on every hero that is mana dependent
6) True Captain buys butterfly. period.
7) True Captain does not buy TP. He just doesnt need it!
8) True Captain will brainswap to get the kill. Always.
9) True Captain has inhuman reaction speeds and will do one of the following:
a) Windstick the hero that clockwerk/pudge is going to hook
b) Banish the person that a morphling waveforms into
c) Gets Hooked By teammate pudge.
11) Following up on 10) True Captain gets arrowed. Always.
12) True Captain carried! With two divine rapiers (droped from opponent)
13) True Captain has the ability to mezmerize opponents with unpredictable moves, making them stunned - literally and unable to think properly.
14) True Captain Crits. Always.
15) True Captain does not play support heroes (except drow ranger - silence is a support skill)
16) True Captain Bactracks. EVERYTHING.
17) True Captain does not get first blooded, if he does the game does not count.
18) True Captain knows proper grammar.
19) When True Captain wins, prepare to hear the Walrus Clap (along with giggles)
20) OMG True Captain is evolving... ting ting ting.... True Captain has evolved into Noobiestnoob
True Captain has pwned PicNik
True Captain has pwned Berbagod
True Captain has pwned Pudginator
True Captaion has pwned Lord_of_War :(
*Giggle + Walrus Clap*