Due west of Pennsyltucky, famous for too little sun, too much rain, weird mutant bugs along riverbanks, water-rats the size of dogs, millions of bats and small bat caves, jagged green hilltops covered in fog, and the backwater hick metropolis of pittsburgh. Residents of Transyltucky worship a strange god they call "big ben" and put coleslaw on sandwiches. They're too pale, rigidly obtuse, speak with the weirdest accent in the American English language. It's a place where people are both xenophobic and eerily polite. Geographically it looks and feels almost exactly like Transylvania. It's green, wet, foggy, damp, and the sun almost never seems to shine.
I wanted to see Transylvania but the dollar fell against the Euro again. So I went to Transyl-tucky. It's not really as exotic but the people are scary.
by Exit and Panic January 19, 2009