Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:
The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.
The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.
Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.
As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.
If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
Townies naturally don't understand certain groups of people - Nice people, old people, punks, skaters and mainly Grebs
A Spiecies unto themselves - The definition of a towny:
An unfortunate species who are never going to amount to anything except at best a supermarket cashier (no offence to any nice supermarket cashiers out there) with about five children by the age of 23 - the first of which was concieved when the mother was at or around 12-years-old; it is unlikely that the father would be known as they tend not to stay around for very long - it's possibly some kind of anchient custom.
They spend their time at school wasting time and tax payers money whilst making a mockery of anyone who is better than them.
It is very rare that you will find a towny who speaks in anything more advanced than duosyllables, unless it is an obsenity, in which case fire away!
They also have their own branch of language, encorporating words such as: ka-ching (money), bling-bling (odd shiny objects of some kind) and 'fuckin innit-like' (presumably some kind of greeting?) Other words such as chilling, fit and grass have been taken out of context and used to descrice satisfactory, attractive and to tell tales.
Townies can be identified by tacky tracksuits, large socks, even larger caps, fake designer labels and 'gold' rings, watches and dog tags which they like to refer to as 'blin-bling'or 'well blingin'. It is believed by other members of the speicies that the more 'blingin' you are, the more highly you should be regarded as a person; civilised people understand that this is rather a bestial trat...
Any native of a town with a college in it.
The townies invaded the campus to watch TV at the student union.
teenagers hu wear nike adidas and all that. they dont like grungers, s8rs, moshers, or gay ppl. they are the most h8ful mother fukkas in britain. they think there hard so they start fites 4 no reason.
no1 likes them.
they get pregnant at 12.
they smoke (ino other ppl do!!)
they nick stuff.
they think their in an american gangsta movie and say shit like 'YES BLOOD' ' ENIT GANGSTA'
THEY ARE FUK WITS
yes blood lets go and pregnant and nik sum adidas shit then beat up a goth!!
stupid dumbasses who try and dress like trendies
but cant afford it ! shop at cheap shops and all dumb and think there gud cus they tried a cigerette!
dont understand grebs
stupid townies gurls think they rule the skool cus theres more of em and freakout when they realise sum 1 in there class is a greb
listen to music like j-lo and britney spears and act and dress like every 1 else!
every time a townie is born a baby kitten dies!
yo bruv us townies is ace innit yer a bunch o battis innit } example of townie, trendy, chav *trying* to speak. Something seems to have messed up these poor creature's brains or something, as they can't seem to speak in coherent sentences to save their lives.
Townies wear tacky clothes, think everyone is a goff, call everyone a batti or a batti boy, pick fights they'd lose without a knife or their big bro to back them up, and think they're well hard. They'll shout abuse at you in the street, try to start fights, and some of the dodgier, braver, more stupid ones might actually knife you.
They seem to be under the delusion that they are American gangstas from NY, really creep around Leeds or Machester or wherever they live (always in abundance), have at least five little ankle-biters crawling around with them in front of the McDonalds, which is the only place they will ever be able to work (unless they want to collect rubbish) as they've failed everything.
They've got their own Townie language and are actually thick enough to think everyone else understand them as well. They think they're popular, but everyone really loathes them.
They'll drink white lightning and smoke cheap fags and are always trying to act stoned or drunk so they can look cool. Their pants are always hanging out of their cheap £1 tracksuits, and they've got IQs less than 0.
Townies are easily confused, and, like all thick-headed twats, don't like being made fools of, but they're mostly m...
People who grew up in the city/town you live in/are referring to.
The opposite of a tourist
. A tourist
would have to gather information about the place they are travelling (sites, restaurants, rest stops, etc.). A townie would be the one to give the tourist
that information since that person would hold a wealth of knowledge about that city/town.
Townies will wear t-shirts representing their city/town/state (or all of the above) even if they do not currently live in that city/town/state.
"Those dudes look like a bunch of townies. Let's ask them which bar to go to after this one closes."
Ignorant moronic wankers that listen to repetitive car alarms, beat up people who are 5 years old or 89 years old, take pills and go nowhere in life. Hang about in dark alleys so they can rape little kids.
ur life is so shit that u r a towny