Top Definition
Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:

The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.

The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.

Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.

As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.

If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
Townies naturally don't understand certain groups of people - Nice people, old people, punks, skaters and mainly Grebs
by Lilo February 20, 2004
One who hangs around town. Formerly recognisible by their shell suit (Circa: 1989), now can be seen with baseball stretchfit cap on backwards/forwards, but to the side slightly and (Inexplicably) one trouser leg rolled to the knee with a sports sock pulled half way up the shin of the same leg. Normally has an IQ not outsizing their own shoe size, the towny travels in packs of at least five, displaying hostile behaviour to whoever does not coform to their rather narrow view of what is 'it' today. This can become particularly hostile if the individual in question may be wearing a band T shirt or is the owner of a pony tail and/or several peircings. Towny's are also noted for their unique method of speech, preferring to use such words as 'Innit' and 'Bad' (Meaning good!!??). They often decorate their bodies, in the form of really cheap and nasty looking tattoos (Known in the tattoo industry as 'scratches.') with the emblems of their favourite football clubs, their girlfriends names (Spelt wrongly.) or a bulldog.
Those guys are townys. Oh shit, there ten of them and seem irritated with me because I seem to be breathing with my eyes apparently open.
by James Standley January 27, 2004
Townies are a variation on chavs.
Most lack Wit and intelligence - and as such will be instantly stunned like a shark hit in the nose by an intelligent witty reply or long words, for example; idiosyncratic, esoteric, daetal, tympanic, incandescant. another example (one of a witty remark) would be (and i quote from real life experiances occured by fellow people) "your hair is too long, Blood, why don't you get a hair cut you 'cunt'" "at least my hair colour is the same as my eyebrows" for those who do not understand the cultural reference here, it is between bleach blonde dyed hairanother remark would be "at least i HAVE hair" or "im not going to take fashion advice from someone with no hair at all" this cultural reference is to do with the majority of "skin heads" within townie society.
All townies i have known who do have enough intelligence to get an A grade in any subject (and possibly head off towards a carreer involving more pay than slave wages), have failed due to the stereotypical lifestyle.
The majority of Townies/Chavs will take the outside of your local macdonalds as their very un-humble abode. They reside and take shelter within these places due to many reasons; including the lack of direction in life to do anything interesting, lack of intelligence and as such nothing to do within mid-day other than illigally leave school and such what not, easy cheap food, having no where to go as there are no partys going on, easy to be found by younger townies who are willing to pay the older townies to buy either alcohol or ciggerettes extra money. The majority of townies smoke and sell ciggerettes. if these people did not smoke at all and only sold ciggerettes on its own they would surely make a great profit, however, their intelligence is too low to recognise this fact.
most of these creatures are more nocturnal rather than day walking human beings (however, so are most teenagers who stay up until one in the morning) the majority of teenagers themselves are townies/Chavs. if not they are merely sheep like and cannot decide between townies or what townies have named "grebs" so they rest in a limbo like state merely listening to whatever is In at the time. at night these creatures can be seen making noise pollution at any time ranging from 9-12 pm. also, ALL "muggers" or robbers, thieves and what-not are 17+ year old chavs or foriegn. i state this as a matter of fact, not opinion. also, these people smoke only ciggerettes and not pipes, cigars, and such alike :- possibly due to lack of individuality within their culture. They usually drink cheap beer or cider or vodka, you will never see a townie holding a wine bottle/drinking champagne or whisky. This is due to lack of funds towards inducing drunkeness.
furthermore, Townies often wear tracksuits, expensive jewlery that is accidently believed to be real, T-shirts, and "hoodies". A game of 'spot the chav/townie/future mcdonalds employee' can be won by identifying chavs with their hoods up and pulling up their T-shirts to their noses (is this because they like the smell of body odour? i have no idea) a more logical explanation as to why they do this is that they wish to avoid identification by the police, however, due to no money, these people can only use a certain amount of clothes and as such, their plan has a rather large loophole.
Also, all chavs stand with the same posture, correctly rediculed as monkeylike by certain people who have allready posted. this usually is the back of trowsers/tracksuits being pulled down below so that their underwear can be shown, and so that other younger easily influenced children can think this is cool, and idolize having a lack of pubic hair. These pop-culture sheep also have their hands down their pants for no reasons what so ever, notice how when a girl who has marginal sex appeal noticeable that is not covered by plastic walks past, it is purposefully done that these men advance towards these women and move their hands up and down to extream lengths.
on friday nights they can be found breaking bus-stops by throwing stones at the glass or kicking them in, the more intelligent of chavs will do this behind corners a bit because it is a pressure point on the glass. some townies also have baseball caps - usually worn backwards to show their backwards sexuality. Recently, the definition of Chav has become very elite, and apparently if you do not have burberry you are not a chav. This is wrong, Chavs are easily recogdnisable by the music they listen to, which consists of RnB (rap and bullshit) rap, and hip-hop.
several chavs and townies also idolize "ali-g" however, due to the lack of intelligence of townies and chavs, they actually fail to realise that mr ali is taking the piss or 'mic' out of chavs, this is possibly why he has such a large fan basis. also, most chavs are illiterate, and stubbornly arrogant. This makes them believe they know the definition of every word they hear examples can be shown below - also with several words they use.
These people also idolize "gangsters" of Los angeles and such like. mostly because of their rap music that shows how amazingly "nang" they are. the music is stereotypical and is allways about, love, sex, wealth, drugs, alcohol, or violence. these stereotypes also have an accent and seem to begin every sentance with the word "Yo" this accent is rather silly and seems to prove that chavs are clearly sexually confuzed and speak with semen within their mouths; clear subtle and outragously obvious messages of being gay by chavs include: instantly moving their hands up and down when a female walks past so obviously done on purpose, showing off their lack of pupes by walking around with their trousers down, by having nearly every single album involving a picture of a black person who is muscular wearing no top (example: 50 cents album, which is worth no more than being PAID 50 cents merely to own it), the constant boasts about how they had sex with a female, boasting about having sex even if they didn't actually have sex with anyone and just spreading rumours about it (probably just to discuise their sexuality), constant mistakes within language eg: accidently stating that they were "being nang and going down on their homies, 'blud'" rather than "going down with their homies".
further more, most chavs are harmless, but some do actually carry knives and take their culture too seriously. if a chav speaks to you, you must be quick on your wit, for instance;
"yo blud"
scenario one: walk past him and do not notice, this is considered "blanking" and is an insult, as such, you are in danger of being assaulted.
scenario two: say "what", this is also considered an insult and you are in danger of being assaulted.
scenario three: say "yo, blud/man" back, if you are not a good actor you are in danger of being assualted. as such you can see that chavs are paradoxial creatures.
Chavs are also natural enemies of "grebs" and geeks. this is because they envy the intelligence and power and cultural individuality that these people symbolize.
Examples of townie language.
bruv, (this word actually originates from a los angeles gang
blud, and shows how townies idolize black people, even when
dawg, living in poor conditions of a ghetto and shanty houses)
G, (short for gangster)
by Abdiel_Lucifer May 05, 2006
yes townies wear cheap shit and follow the fasion in the shops all though they usually have stolen or snide ones
they sit on street corners pissed out there heads useing every excuse to say shit fuck bollocks, start a fight or shag the next random gal they see.
townie 1- that bird fit how old tou think she is?
Townie two- about are age 16 maybe
Townie 1 oh shit bit to old for me then
by sassy babe November 28, 2004
Townies, sometimes known as chavs or trendys, are sadly all too common in and around the UK.
Townies will 'give evils' to anyone who satisfys one or more of these criterias
1)likes 'goff' music
2)wears one or more items of black
3)wears a long skirt - for a townie the definition of long is 30cms. past the knee is unknown to them
4)wears anything intresting or individual EG a hat that isn't burberry
5)uses full words on an instant messenger
6)has their own skin, instead of a bottle of foundation and a tube of concealer 5 shades too dark applied to their face with a trowel.
7)plays a musical instument that isn't 'decks'
9) has friends, as apposed to 'crew' or 'homies'
10) doesn't claim to have had sex with more people than they have met
11) wears their underwear as underwear, unlike them who wear it as outerwear
12)doesn't wear company logos across their chest or bum
13)is actually nice
if you do find a townie giving you evils, proceed to ask them what the guy who created burberry was called. they will immediatly blert out gucci.
if you are still unsure as to what a townie is, watch the quality programing of 'little britain' and pay special attention to vicky pollard
townie 1 - yeah, i got sum new bling innit?
townie 2 - yeah, if his tune's paht, it's gonna get rinsed
'goff' - WHAT?!?
by ireallylikesheep February 14, 2005
Townies are primitive, deprived fucking gay lords, often hanging around in a large group, using their own language. Passers-by suffer abuse in this language (they know it is abuse because of the more arrogant way the main townie talks and his body language eg. a shagging movement). No one really understands/gives a shit if they're 'starting' cuz no one can really blame them. The females are usually pregnant by the time they're twelve and the guys are often dead by the time they're 30 because of all the fags and booze they drink. Therefore definiton of a townie: loada bollocks.
Townie: Yeh you like well FIT bitch! Do m'fava and gimme soma'that! *shagging movement*
Normal person: My bfs over there :|
Townie: Yo like startin' on me bitch? wanna see what i got do ya? i is bling n dont need no trouble from ya aite?
Normal person: you're an unsophisticated grotesque interlocuting pontificial unsentient fuckwit.
Townie: ....................yo starting on me bitch?
by curse you pikeys July 05, 2004
A cancer of the working class of britain. which has unfortunatly spread to most youths.
they originate from the american 'gangstas' who they copied in the 90s.
they breed near the closest jd/jjb/first sport for their favorite nike etc fashion.
stealing money is for profit, phones are for sport.
'YO blud wat hav u got for me!'
'i saw that fone...3310 dats a liberty. cum bak wit a better fone!'
by Leseid Nov January 30, 2005
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