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1.
Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:

The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.

The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.

Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.

As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.

If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
Townies naturally don't understand certain groups of people - Nice people, old people, punks, skaters and mainly Grebs
by Lilo February 20, 2004
 
15.
The Average Male Townie:
> Wears fake burberry cap
> Wears fake burberry cap at a 360 degree angle
> Smokes about 50 fags a day
> Drinks anything as long as it has alcohol in it
> Wears "trackies" and bright white nike trainers
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Tucks "trackie bottoms" into their white umbro / fake burberry socks
> Refers to fellow female townies as "mah bitches" or "mah hoes"
> Has brown hair with the ends dyed - meant to be blonde but ends up orange
> Wears "Schott" jacket - 100% polyester and very poofy with the label "Schott" splashed along the back of it. Some townies unable to afford such expensive clothing tend to wear "Scott" jackets
> Have their ear pierced with a huge fake diamond earring
> Wears excessive amounts of Lynx aftershave and seems to believe that all normal humans want to smell like that too - tend to spray aftershave in anyone-who-is-not-a-townies face
> Refer to fellow male townies as "bruv"
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Enjoys listening to hip hop, R 'n' B, and any female who does not wear much clothing at all
> Shoplift from their local market
> Is never seen without their mobile phones - always in the latest model
> Hangs around in large gangs
> Hangs around by places like One Stop and the 'green'

The Average Female Townie:
> Has excessive facial piercings
> Has dyed platinum blond hair with about two inches of natural coloured roots showing
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Wears tiny little tops which show as much breast as physically possible
> Wears tiny little skirts which are shorter than a normal persons belt
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Wears clothes by the label "Playboy"
> Always makes sure that their thongs are on show
> Have their hair scraped back into a high ponytail or bun
> Also wear bright white Nike trainers
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Wears layers and layers of foundation
> Wears layers and layers of fake tan over that
> Are pregnant by the age of 10
> Also wear "Schott" jackets
> Hangs around in large groups
> Hangs around in places like One Stop or the 'green'
> Listens to hip hop, R 'n' B and any male who wears excessive amounts of chains and who possesses a six pack.
> Shoplift from their local market

There are many of this species about - they are spreading like a disease. You must be cautious at all times as you may find yourself gradually adapting to their kind. If you see anyone of this kind approaching, turn around and walk away. DO NOT APPROACH THESE SPECIES.
Here are a few expressions that this dangerous kind might use:

"Sick bruv" - cool or great

"Yer ma'e" - Yes

"I'll give ya beats" - I want to hurt you

"Bling" - jewellery

"Ma homies" - my friends

"Your mum" - Definition UNKNOWN. Many people have tried to define this fascinating expression into English and I have reached the conclusion that in fact, it is just a phrase in which townies resort to using because they cannot think of anything else to say.
by Trixabelle May 03, 2005
 
16.
In the United States, a "townie" of college age has always been someone who never left their hometown, and adult "townies" are those old guys in college towns who hang around the bars wondering when the semester's going to end and all these damn college kids are going to go home.
1) Joe is so a townie. He never left Woburn and I hear he's going to community college there. And hangs around the highschoolers at Breakers.

2) We gotta get out of this bar, man, there's too many townies glaring at us.
by Heather LG April 18, 2007
 
17.
A townie is an arrogant piece of shit who normally walks around town centres. Other words for them are chav,towny and general piece of crap.
Female townies are usually known as hoes or bitches and are usually sluts. They also carry lots of infections that the decent people in the world punks, skaters], greebos should stay well clear of.
The male species normally fink they are "solid" and av lots of "respec'" thats respect spelt badly. Their clothes are normally bought from the local market and although they have names on these are often Borberry (cheap burberry) badidas 9 adidas rip-offs) and often Nice (If you squint it looks like Nike)
Lots of them claim they "boned their hoes" when they were 5 but have of ten neva come into contact id someone of the opposite sex except for when buying cheap alcahol at Threshers.
Rachel Bissel, leader of Townies UK.
Send abuse to 07837725389.
by leo and buva January 04, 2005
 
18.
those fuckers who drive aound in their beat-up godblessamerica bumpersticker-plastered pickup trucks with nothing better to do than pitch beer cans at my head while screaming.
by dagger_grrl November 01, 2003
 
19.
kids that made it through high school, but didn't go on to college and hang aroung their hometown feeling sorry for themselves.
Townies are losers.
by Ninj4 October 28, 2003
 
20.
How to recognise a townie:

1. The female species of townie usually wear slutty tops that barely cover their nipples, and mini-skirts that barely cover their ass-crack. They also tend to wear make-up which makes their face look orange, and bright white eyeshadow which blind u if you look at it.

2. The male species wear trackies(with th double stripe down the side of their leg and arm) along with polished white trainers and a cap sticky-taped to the back of their heads, so that it can point towards the sky. Most of this can be bought from JJB, and other such classy stores.

3. Townies have a very distinguished way of "speaking", though most of the time u cant understand what their saying.

4. They hang around in large groups, usually outside shops such as Blockbusters, morrisons, tesco's etc... (mainly bcoz they hav been banned from coming within 10 miles of any respectable places) and can usually b found blasting their "music" out of their crappy cars in the middle of the night.

5. Townies listen mainly to pop and garage (people like peter andre and 'gangstas' who wud actually be shot if they put one foot in the ghetto)
An example of some perfectly formed townies are a group of girls who i had an arguement wiht the other day. Aswell as not being able to look at the main 'speaker' incase i was blinded bt her orange mask of foundation and blinding eyeshadow, i had to keep asking her to repeat herself, as all i cud hear was a loud screeching sound.
NOTE: NEVER answer a townie back. i did, and it didnt get me very far. the hole group looked like they were about to sit on me, but after shoving me around for a bit, they gave up as it wasnt gettin them very far either.
townies tend to feel like they hav 2 win th arguement. afta realising she wasnt winning, the leader of th group tld her frend she wanted 'to keep sayin stuff to me cuz I was being mouthy!' though she never actually came any closer.
by Townie h8r March 23, 2005
 
21.
those adidas-clad bastards...
I hate them there Townies.
by ForlanTheCrow August 09, 2004