Top Definition
Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:

The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.

The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.

Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.

As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.

If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
Townies naturally don't understand certain groups of people - Nice people, old people, punks, skaters and mainly Grebs
by Lilo February 20, 2004
These are the 21 year old people you see on a night, hanging around on street corners or near benches with their 13 year old girlfriend.
Basically, they are monkeys with cider, if your ever in a fight with a group of these people, go for the alpha male.
He'll be the one with the biggest bottle of cider,if tyou take him down then you have won the fight, the rest of them will run in fear.
look on your local street corner, or your nearest park bench and you will find a few.
by dooobey February 20, 2004
A curiosity particular to the British Isles, although derived chiefly from the gangsta rap culture of the inner cities of America. Townies are often seen in, as the name suggests, the town centre of any settlement, walking with a distinct bobbing movement akin to that of someone wearing a very heavy backpack. They have a tendency to clothe themselves in unnecessarily large olive-green parkas, tracksuits and plastic baseball caps. This is not dissimilar to a peacock's plumage, with the notable distinction that the peacock's tail feathers are a thing of beauty and make the male bird more attractive to the opposite sex.

On the subject of the opposite sex, it is often possible to observe the phenomenon of the "girl towny". This female variety is not dissimilar to the male variety, except that even more white clothing is worn, in stark contrast to the often orange war-paint worn caked over the faces of female townies. This serves to obliterate the feaures of the "girl townies" and cleverly hide the fact that the male and female of the species are almost indistinguishable without aids to appearance.

Interpersonal relationships among their own groups are often primitive, centred around cheap sexual conquests and who is going to "batter" who. The two are often linked.

The activities displayed by townies often serve to demonstrate a deep-seated aggression, often causing behaviour associated with extreme aggressiveness and violence. This includes a tendency to veer towards a non-towny in the street and "start on" them, at the same time accusing the aforementioned non-towny of doing the same to them. This is often accompanied by swearing, usually "Come on then, you f**king c**t!" or similar aggressive twaddle.

Townies generally have no knowledge of how their sub-culture started, as despite their apparent embracing of black culture, they are usually more likely to take part in a racist assault than normal people like you or I. In fact, any group assault is likely to have townies at the root of the problem.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my definition. If any more evidence/information is required, feel free to watch Crimewatch UK and look at the CCTV footage of street violence. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Seriously, do it.
Norm#1: "What happened to your face?"
Norm#2: "Townies."
Norm#1: "Oh. Right. Tasteful ring."
by The Define-O-Matic April 10, 2004
A retard who wears awfully passe, tacky clothing, and tasteless "expensive" jewellery. This breed of retard thinks they are at the height of fashion, and that they are "dock hard". Starts fights with everyone of a similar age group, drinks cheap cider and smokes L&B and Roll ups. All female townies have lost their virginity at the age of 12, and they have had at least 3 abortions or kids by the age of 22, and normally has a kid by the age of 16. Townies think they are the most popular people at school, but most people try to avoid them like the plague.
I always think that Girls Aloud and Atomic Kitten are townies... with stylists.
by Clarabelle November 27, 2003
Townies, now that is some blingin' sh*t, yo! Seriously, these bastards shouldn't deserve to live (if you can call the pathetic thing they have a 'life'). Every night I lay awake in bed with a bible in my hand, thinking: 'On what day did the lord create townies, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?' Look in a bus shelter, you may find one, wearing shirts that say 'von dutch' or FCUK or some american city that nobody wants to visit. You can't possibly be a cool townie if you are capable of understanding and using the english language. They are racist pigs, who hate africans, but imitate them in music. Comparing anyone to townies is offensive, so i'm very sorry to all mentioned so far. Oh, and i'm not finished yet.
They listen to generic 'gangsta' 'phat' 'beatz', and are so underground and rebellious that the music they like is one of the most commercial and mass produced/marketed musical styles ever. They also like bob marley despite never listening to him or acknowledging his pacifist message, but whenever they get a chance, they cover all school design projects with ganja leaves, making it cool to be slowly killing themselves. They also manage to make anything into a sex reference.

EG: *actual conversation*
townie 1: Yo man, she iz wel fit, innit!
(points at ugly female townie with face offensive to anyone with eyes)
townie 2: Yo meen da 1 wit' da Burba...bur.. cap?
Townie 1: I'd like to wear 'er capyo no wat i meen?
Townie 1: (looks confused,thinks for a minute) ... Yeah man, innit!

What an intellect, eh? Seriously, townies are hard people, if they outnumber you 50 to 1, they will consider attacking you until they realise that they'd rather be doing it with their sister/brother. They also prove how 'ard they are by shouting 'ya mum' at you. they kiss their 'bitches' in public, and have no sense of people looking and thinking: 'what a load of *****s', because theyre cool to their 'cru', so obviously their lives will amount to more than a part time job at mcdonalds drive thru. No, wait...
townie: Wot da f*** lookin at?
Normal person: You
Townie:so u fink ur solid, huh?
normal person: well i'm not a liquid, if that's what you mean...
townie: (to cru) Right, get 'im, innit!
(townies get beaten up)
Townie: Right, i'll get ma (insert family member here) on u

Then, the family member comes, the same thing happens andthey get more and older family members on you. This process is called the aging cycle, and it reapeats itself till they get to the age when most townies die (26)
by Eddy ( I know leo & buva) February 15, 2005
Poem About Townies

whats with these townies where nike shox?
tucking their joggers into their socks,
their mothers were slags and their fathers were jocks,
In their exams, they failed their mocks,
Before they leave school, they'll have babies in flocks,
When their 16, they'll be in wedding frocks,
taking the piss outta greebos in docs,
Walk aroudn in big herds, their fucking cocks!

hehe i made this up ages ago randomly.
i hate townies. kill them all now & save the world! the human race is polluted!
\m/ rock on alternative fashion \m/
by ~* CharlooT *~ February 25, 2005
complete and utter retards who have nothing better to do than swear and shop in jjb etc.they have rings and are genrally pregnant by 11. They are thick.
they also like to beat up people who say anything.
ere mush come ere so i can bray ya. Who are you touchin. Dick. FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!
by tom murphy January 27, 2004
Ah, the general morons that inhabit England; they seem concentrated around the Northern areas, like a modern era barbarian/amoeba hybrid.

Characterised by their clothes, consisting of tracksuits. Logos are a must; also, a recent tread is to wear a hat at the odd angles, AND have a hood up at the same time. In broad daylight. Suspicions are rising that they are going nocturnal.

Another characteristic is the speech. They try to be 'gangsta muthafuggas', taken from American culture. Hey, what do you know; it WAS Rap. Also any phrases (or noises) are taken from popular TV shows. Like 'Bo Selecta', a comedy show. They have a penchant for the word "mint".

Examples of Towny 'speech'

"PROPA NAAARH" <==> "Proper no."
"YA SHTARTIN ME" <==> "You wanna start a fight?"
"PROPA BO" <==> "Wow, that's awesome."
"UEEEH!" <==> No translation. It could be a mating call.

Behaviours consists of:

* Walking into your shoulders, claiming you wanna start a fight, even if they had to come across the road to bump into your shoulders.
* Generally takin' drugs and getting drunk every night, getting rowdy and starting fights.

the list goes on.
they also do not like anyone who does not conform to their ways.

Sample Research was taken from the North Eastern Breed of towny.
<Townie> "You called me yesterday, didn't ya!? ****in *******!"
<Me> " I know you?"
<Townie> "PROPER NAH."
*At which point his friends come over.*
<Me> Sigh -_-.
by Xeno March 14, 2004

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