Top definition
Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:

The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.

The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.

Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.

As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.

If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
Townies naturally don't understand certain groups of people - Nice people, old people, punks, skaters and mainly Grebs
by Lilo February 20, 2004
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townies have a problem with people who dress different to them, listen to different music or have any other hobbies. they also take the piss out of people of different races or cultures blah blah etc. and are basically complete wastes of time (if you know your kid's gonna be a townie, please, drown him/her at birth.)

they also think they're cool by failing all their schoolwork and talking like dicks .... and then they have a go at kids who're actually smart. Hey townies, they're the ones you'll be packing shopping bags for in the very near future.
Fuck townies - they suck and are sooooo bored that they can't find anything better to do except hang around Alldays. tragic.
by Mel March 09, 2004
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Poem About Townies

whats with these townies where nike shox?
tucking their joggers into their socks,
their mothers were slags and their fathers were jocks,
In their exams, they failed their mocks,
Before they leave school, they'll have babies in flocks,
When their 16, they'll be in wedding frocks,
taking the piss outta greebos in docs,
Walk aroudn in big herds, their fucking cocks!

hehe i made this up ages ago randomly.
i hate townies. kill them all now & save the world! the human race is polluted!
by ~* CharlooT *~ February 25, 2005
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A townie is a person whom spends their free time, hanging around outside the local MacDonald’s. The male specimen has a tendency to wear fake Adidas goods, mainly tracksuits. However, they are incapable of running - due to the horrendous daily intake of tobacco.
Both sexes of 'townies', wear fake gold jewellery bought from the market, or stolen from other fellow townies.
The female specimen, usually have bleach blonde hair, with about 2 inches of deep brown hair above. They too sport tracksuits, having words such as 'BABE' and 'PRINCESS' bore upon their chests. The females also spend all their time “hangin wit der homies” and attempting to pull an ugly male townie.

If you do unfortunately see a group of townies, you will see several young children running around, also smoking and trying to thieve off of you. This happens because a townie is very unfamiliar with contraception, and as a result has at least 2 spouses by the time they are 15. They also may carry at least 10 STD's as yet another result of lack of contraception.

It is good to try and avoid these poor excuses for people: if you yourself are not a fellow townie, due to the fact that they resent anybody who can spell at least one word correctly.

They also like to pretend that they are stoned and drunk to impress others. Even if it is only 10 o'clock in the morning.
TOWNIE 1: Oi, bubba - can yo see dose bunch ov freaks bruv?

TOWNIE 2: O yyeeeaaa mate, lets lob sum J20 bottles at dem!!

TOWNIE 1: Dat is a PHAT idea bruv. As a reward, do ya wanna sleep wit me bird 2nite?

TOWNIE 2: Yea mate, shes f*****' fit bruv!
by Kate February 16, 2004
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All the morons on here like Psycho Bitch don't seem to realise that townies victimise those who don't share their Neanderthal way of life.They always bully metallers because of their musical taste and dress sense. For that person who said that moshers and skaters think they are better:Get your head out of your arse. They don't think they're better, they have just had enough of townie fuckwits picking on them, and so they should be. I can't stand all those stupid words like 'Blud', 'Innit' and 'Blingin'. Talking like some kind of rainforest ape. The girls dress like prostitutes and they act like them, and the males like their customers. They drive shit cars, drink horrible shit cider, flash their dicks at 70 year old women in the hope of pulling, and model themselves on gangsters and pimps (Who are low-life scum so its no surprise). I fucking hate townies and i pray to the gods that they have all been wiped out within the next few years
Yeh Blud, Innit Blud, I bang my 12 year old sister Blud, let me bum a tab off u (fucking wank stain).
by BadLieutenant July 25, 2004
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Townies, now that is some blingin' sh*t, yo! Seriously, these bastards shouldn't deserve to live (if you can call the pathetic thing they have a 'life'). Every night I lay awake in bed with a bible in my hand, thinking: 'On what day did the lord create townies, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?' Look in a bus shelter, you may find one, wearing shirts that say 'von dutch' or FCUK or some american city that nobody wants to visit. You can't possibly be a cool townie if you are capable of understanding and using the english language. They are racist pigs, who hate africans, but imitate them in music. Comparing anyone to townies is offensive, so i'm very sorry to all mentioned so far. Oh, and i'm not finished yet.
They listen to generic 'gangsta' 'phat' 'beatz', and are so underground and rebellious that the music they like is one of the most commercial and mass produced/marketed musical styles ever. They also like bob marley despite never listening to him or acknowledging his pacifist message, but whenever they get a chance, they cover all school design projects with ganja leaves, making it cool to be slowly killing themselves. They also manage to make anything into a sex reference.

EG: *actual conversation*
townie 1: Yo man, she iz wel fit, innit!
(points at ugly female townie with face offensive to anyone with eyes)
townie 2: Yo meen da 1 wit' da Burba...bur.. cap?
Townie 1: I'd like to wear 'er capyo no wat i meen?
Townie 1: (looks confused,thinks for a minute) ... Yeah man, innit!

What an intellect, eh? Seriously, townies are hard people, if they outnumber you 50 to 1, they will consider attacking you until they realise that they'd rather be doing it with their sister/brother. They also prove how 'ard they are by shouting 'ya mum' at you. they kiss their 'bitches' in public, and have no sense of people looking and thinking: 'what a load of *****s', because theyre cool to their 'cru', so obviously their lives will amount to more than a part time job at mcdonalds drive thru. No, wait...
townie: Wot da f*** lookin at?
Normal person: You
Townie:so u fink ur solid, huh?
normal person: well i'm not a liquid, if that's what you mean...
townie: (to cru) Right, get 'im, innit!
(townies get beaten up)
Townie: Right, i'll get ma (insert family member here) on u

Then, the family member comes, the same thing happens andthey get more and older family members on you. This process is called the aging cycle, and it reapeats itself till they get to the age when most townies die (26)
by Eddy ( I know leo & buva) February 15, 2005
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adjective: retards who cant afford good clothes so they buy cheap plastic clothes and jewellery. Often seen riding small bikes because they cant afford anything better. Think they are superior because of their lack of intelligence or balls.

Townies can be recognised by their lack of intelligence, monkey like walk, godawful baseball caps and having their tracksuit trousers tucked into their socks like some musketeer

Subtype Micro pikey Midgets who start on people but get beaten up so they threaten to get their monkey cousin on them.
Alex Penrice: A retarded townie with a brain the size of his nonexistent balls. Pre evolution example of the orangutang

Entire Penrice vocab

(only said when asked questions or insulted) Errrmmmm



If approached by one dont worry its completely harmless
by The entire of yateley school February 19, 2004
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