2. Chat complete bollocks using words that mean absolutely nothing.
3. Impersonates Ali G being too thick to realise he is actually taking the piss out of people like that.
4. Has no idea of any music catogries unless it comes under any thing such as R n B, garage or any other crap therefore calling any thing that isn't bollocks "metlar music" including groups such as Coldplay, Travis and Embrace unless they like a song then it becomes non "metlar music".
5. Hangs round streets late at night in big groups to try and feel hard because they are total pussies who need "back-up" and weaponry.
6. No not how to fight a fair fight.
7. Like music only by black men and wiggers.
8. Pretend to take drugs because it makes them hard but are only smart enough to figure out how to smoke.
9. No hope in life apart from McDonalds.
10. Brain span goes about as far as shite music, drugs, and sex with there siblings.
11. A vocabulary which ranges from words that mean to shit to words that mean shit.
2. Not being aware of any high street store, merely the market places that sell fake copies of items in high street stores for 1% of the price. Don't complain though ... At least they're only wearing what they're worth.
4. Usually drop out of school at 14, pregnant or having got someone pregnant.
5. Have the annoying habit of addin 'like' onto the end of all their sentences, like.
Townie: What a doing, like? Yooo wan a slap, like. B************!
Usually their only employment is something that overcharges students. Otherwise, they are drunk, or make/ smoke meth, have many children& are prone to beating homosexuals and leaving them to die outside the afore-mentioned town.
They rarely have names exceeding one syllable, as this would place far too much pressure on their prehistoric-like brains. Names such as 'Dean' and ‘Dwaine’ are popular with the male of the species whereas female townies can occasionally handle more complex names such as 'Crystal', ‘Candice’, or even ‘Bacardi’. They have great difficulty in pronouncing the letters; d, h and t, amongst many others. Townie's speech impediments often rub off on each other in each other's presence, to the point of unintelligible human language. It seems that they merely communicate through a system of "yi", "alrigh’!" and "nah!” and a few other monosyllabic grunts.
Townies are best recognised by their wonderful sense of fashion. ‘Nike’, ‘Reebok’ and ‘Adidas’ are amid the many sports brands which townies choose to wear while out “bowlin’ it”, a way of ‘walking’ which many have adopted, however leaves them looking only slightly impaired. Other necessary items of clothing include ‘Nickleson’ shirts worn by both female and male townies, and some form of Burberry. Sports trousers are “jacked up” and covered with pulled up sports socks advertising one of the sports brands above. Caps are also worn by male townies at various stupid angles off the head to publicise the wearers position in the hierarchy of the “crew”.
Townies hate anyone who is not a townie, and so start fights with the common phrases, “Are you startin’?”
“ Are you startin’ on my mate’?”
“If yu’ve got summin ta say, ya can say it ta mi face”
However townies rarely fight with someone that they know they cannot win against, for example 6 fifteen year old townies against 2 twelve year olds. Yet they still start fights with large groups of people as their brains are often unable to process the 6 to 1 ratio, and their inevitable defeat.
For example; While innocently standing opposite the bus stop in town on a Saturday with about 10 friends(not townies in the slightest), two of the most ugly townie girls I have ever seen, with peroxide blonde hair and 2inch roots, yelled some sort of abuse across the road. Some body answered back with something amusing and of course they took this as us “startin’” so made their way over to “finish it”.
Did they really think that they were going to come out on top against 10 of us with their senseless crap which they think makes them sound clever. I’m sure they have much ambition in life, such as working their way up to 5stars on their McDonalds name tag, however, their foolish “fights” seem to be getting them nowhere, yet much they think it will boost their reputation as being “hard”.
We must pity the sad, sad lives of such unintelligent, hopeless people, and be grateful that we are nothing like them.
Townie; "are you calling me a whore!?"
Grunger; "no, im telling you, the corner is over there"
Destroy the education of anyone who is unfortunate enough to share a class with them by constantly arguing with the teacher and talking really loudly about how they "got reet pissed t'weeken' like"
God forbid anyone who dares to glance in their general direction, for you are sure to be knifed by some distant relative's friend
The money they get from benefit's gets spent on the latest mobile phone, with the newest polyphonic ringtone and stupid little screensaver graphic. They happily spend hours chatting away on them slowly frying their tiny minds.
They also have absoloutely no chance of doing anything successful in life, except if they manage to buy a lucky scratchcard, or sue their local council because they tripped up on a broken paving slab down in the ghetto
"what ya' chatting about"
"im gonna cut ya"
"yeah, but no, but yeah but no but yeah but no but, shut up"