Townie is a word describing a person of a sub-culture in Great Britain whose lifestyle is based on fascism, hatred and shallow-mindedness. Most grow out of being mindless during their early to mid-twenties.

Townies of both sexes are normally found in groups, loitering around town centres, as well as places that would seem odd to normal people, e.g. the parking lot of a funeral parlour, golf courses, chemists/drug stores. The loitering is a prelude to one of their hobbies which is intimidating normal humans.

Unlike decent members of society a townie, or chav, see people who look different to him or herself, as well things like culture, art, literature, education and abiding by the law, as things to be feared, hated and laughed at.

Characteristic behaviour of townies when out in public places includes riding mopeds/motor scooters with the baffles removed to create noise, spend a fortune on customizing ridiculous little cars like a Nova or Fiesta (genuine Fiesta and Nova owners excepted as their vehicle is used for transportation and not for posing), playing repetitive bass-heavy music whilst driving said customized cars (the slower the music the better. No self-respecting townie would be seen dead listening to real driving music e.g. Speed by Billy Idol, Sin by Nine Inch Nails), wearing tracksuits and football (US soccer) t-shirts with gold jewellery in abundance (no matter how expensive the clothing and accessories, they look cheap and tawdry, looking like they can’t be bothered to dress and co-ordinate their wardrobe. It’s not uncommon to hear townie girls discussing whether they should wear either their pastel pink or baby blue tracksuit to a wedding, restaurant, etc. Townies only attempt to dress up when going to townie nightclubs).

Although breeding in, and emanating from, ghettoes and slum areas of towns and cities, townies have a complete and illogical hatred of anyone who doesn't look, act and dress like them. This probably stems from their insular nature, rarely going outside of their hometown to explore the rest of the world. Lacking the I.Q. and the up-bringing to even know what manners are, let alone have manners, townies will think nothing of shouting and screaming “Grebo!” or ”Goffik!” (they are unable to pronounce 'th' and instead pronounce it ‘f’ or ‘ff’) along with numerous obscenities at people simply because their victim is a male with long hair, is a girl wearing a completely black ensemble, or wearing a t-shirt with the name of a rock band on.

Townies notoriously mispronounce words, dropping t’s and h’s. Thus “Harry” becomes “’Arry” and “Isn’t it” becomes “Innit”.

Another popular insult townies love to shout at men with long hair is “Get yer ‘air cut!” or simply “‘air cut!”

If someone should respond to an insult from a townie, the townies will respond with "Are you startin'?" (Translation - "Are you seeking physical altercation with us?"). This is truly bizarre as by shouting abuse in the first place, the townie was clearly "Startin'".

These and other insults are 99% of the time shouted from townies in gangs or from the open window of moving vehicles.

A townies' hatred of alternative music fans is similar to a Nazi, that being if you are not wearing the latest style and have the correct hair length for your gender then you are not one of them and have to be hated.

No townie has yet given a sensible, coherent, sane answer as to why they have this hatred of anyone who wants to exercise freedom and dress how they want. The most popular answer a townie will give is 'Because you got long 'air, innit!'

Townies are brave when in groups. Townies as young as nine years old have no problem swearing at and verbally abusing people 3 or even 4 times older than themselves. However, on their own a single townie will walk quickly past that very same person they attacked with their head bowed, falsely believing that everyone is as mindless and evil as they are and will gang up on them in retaliation. Goths and other alternates are mostly well educated and polite, yet another reason townies probably hate them; townies live in fear and dread of manners and education.

A townies hatred of Alternates is a primitive fear, bordering on an animals’ attack instinct to something it fears, .i.e “I am a dog, you scare me, I eat you”. Townies notoriously avoid school and education in favour roaming the streets in packs like wild dogs, preying on innocent people and attacking anyone not dressed like a townie.

The older generations of people in the UK are under the impression that these “clean, nicely-dressed youngsters” are the cream of society. Goths, punks, metal-heads, etc., however, are horrified to see a new generation of fascism whose ideals of totalitarianism and hatred of all people who dress and look different from themselves hasn't been seen since the likes of Adolf Hitler.

Alternates are seen as fair game. Even a pregnant mother was beaten up just for wearing black lace clothes and black lipstick. Townies will think nothing of verbally and physically attacking females as well as males, following them and calling them names, trying to trip them up and even going as far as slapping and punching, calling said Goth girl a prostitute, among other insults. This is a paradox as female townies dress like prostitutes from 70’s/80’s cop shows when they go out at weekends or to go shopping.

Culture-wise, townies avoid books. Reading consists of magazines (make up and latest fashion for females, cars and music sound systems for males). As far as films go, anything too intelligent (e.g. The Da Vinci Code, Bladerunner, Dune, The Shawshank Redemption) is “crap” in their eyes. The best example of this is Sin City; townies say “It’s shit, innit!” because it’s black and white. PLEASE NOTE – human fans of the following films should not be insulted, as they are seen as chewing gum for the brain by normal people but riveting by townies. Good films for townies are Romeo Must Die, The Fat Slags, Jason Vs. Freddy, etc. Music with too many lyrics is avoided, and anything that involves the artist/band knowing how to play instruments like drums and guitars is despised. Good townie music is anything repetitious with low lyric content.

A typical day for a townie is: wake up, smoke a spliff, avoid school (if of a school-attending age), wander aimlessly around town, shout abuse at anyone who isn't wearing the correct New Nazi uniform (tracksuit or designer jeans and shirt/t-shirt. NO long hair if male), vandalize public and/or private property, buy cheap cider/vodka and cigarettes or get someone to buy for them if the townies are too young to be served, breed (no matter what age they are), smoke a spliff, sleep.

It is a growing concern amongst the intelligent members of society that townies could end up making the UK as a whole a slum, their bad attitude and fascism making the country unpopular with normal humans, domestic and foreign. Fortunately, townies are rarely seen giving abuse in large cities due to the cosmopolitan nature of such metropolises. You’d never hear a townie shout “Grebo!” in Camden Town, London, England.

Townies are brave enough to shout insults at alternates in the streets, but would never have the courage to do so in a bar/nightclub frequented by alternates, e.g. Rock City in Nottingham, England.

In the original version of Dawn Of The Dead (1978), on the DVD commentary the make up artist/special effects expert tried describing Red Necks to the British audience and said 'I don't think Britain has a class of people that low!' Unfortunately, it does...

Townies hate Goths, punks, etc. because they look different to townies. Alternates hate townies because townies are fascist Nazis and believe that everyone should be allowed to live their lives without fearing attack...just for wearing black.

The most common use for the word 'townie' in England is that which describes a person.

A townie is normally aged between 11 and 15. Listens to so-called 'garage' music such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, neither of which is REAL garage music; simply pop music with a stammering kid in fake diamonds fronting the band.

A townie will normally dress in grubby shell-toed Nike trainers, rolled-up Adidas tracksuit bottoms and an unmatching jogging top, regardless of the sex.
If female, the jogging jacket will most likely be pink or baby blue, most likely purchased for £5 at the local market and will have the word 'PRINCESS', 'BABE', 'BLING BLING' or 'FCUK' spelt out in white across the front.
If male, the townie's jogging top will most likely be white with blue sleeves, again purchased for £5 at a market; and will have the name of an American city spelt out across the front, ie. 'BOSTON', 'DETROIT', or 'CUBA'; ..despite the fact that these creatures are not intelligent enough to know where the places they advertise on their chests are. Most, upon asking, will not even realize that 'BOSTON' is a city.

A townie will often smoke because "it's alrigh', innit?". All townies own at least one item of clothing with the disgusting beige/brown Burberry print upon it. Obviously, this garment is not genuine Burberry, and instead of the £400 charged for a real Burberry bag/scarf, will have been purchased for £1.50 down the local market.

A female townie will have poorly dy...

A townie is a the label for a group of people who shit on the english language, wear crappy ripoff adidas clothes, have an I.Q. lower than than my nan's tits, and are as ugly as a hatfull of ass.

Other word/s for townie: scum.

Ahh townies, the uncomplicated, uninteresting and wholly unneeded scum of any urban area across the face of the UK. These..."people" (sorry to all you normal people out there, I realize calling townies people is an insult to you all) are generally, in fact ALWAYS doing nothing with their life, unless of course your idea of living is hanging around outside the local corner shop, car park or McDonalds shouting abuse at anyone not wearing burberry, drinking stolen alcohol and smoking/sniffing/trying to fuck drugs.
They clad themselves in burberry, nike, adidas, umbro and avirex clothing, the males anyway. They always smell like stolen Hugo Boss aftershave, or at least the stolen, cheap, knock off market version of Hugo Boss. The males all follow an alpha male, they imitate his trends and language, in my area the words to desbribe a good looking female are "buff" or "tick" if something is good or acceptable it is "safe" and your friend is your "blood" often pronounced "blud" they will often pick on anyone with black clothing, spiky hair or baggy jeans, but will only attack in groups of 10 or more, if their "crew" isn't present (probably off stealing fake burberry, or dealing flour) they will stand at a safe range and hurl insults like "goff" "mosha" "grunga" or the ever popular "I fucked ur mum!" these insults should be shrugged off, however if you feel the need to retaliate, I recommend these:-
In response to "goff", "mosha" or "grunga" - Yes I am a <enter above instult her...

Outside of england, this is a term used by students who have went to a new city for school to describe the natives of that town. It is often seen as derogitory by those who use it, but townies themselves often embrace it as a badge of honour.

A townie is an English word for a person who:
1. Uses the phrase "Ya Mum" as an insult
2. Thinks that it is cool/hard to use various words beginning with F and S
3. Listens to "Phat Beats" - Blazin Squad, So Solid Crew, Jay-Z (or whatever) etc.
4. Drives a Car such as a Vauxhall Nova or Ford Escort or similar which has A body kit, lowerred suspension, large exhaust, and a huge Subwoofer in the boot to make sure that everyone can hear their "Phat Beats"
5. Has a stupid nickname such as "Jubba" or "Staples"
6. Steals mobile phones
7. Wears "Bling Threads"
8. Walks in a stupid, exaggerated way
9. Has a fundamental disability to pronounce the letter "H"
10. Smokes all the time whilst doing the above
11. Is challenged by a lack of immagination
12. Has a Helly Hansen "Puffer Jacket"
13. Has gelled blonde (dyed) hair

The townie (tracksuits retardus) are hideous creatures which roam the lands of England. They tend to be known as chavs, neds or basically just fucking assholes.

The male of the species tend to be called 'Gav', 'Gaz', 'Baz', 'Nat' or 'Matty'. He tends to have a shaved head, to make him look 'rock 'ard, innit', or in modern English, tough. Although townies are racist towards asians, they accept black people into their 'crew', and the black townies tend to bleach their hair yellow (blonde). Their hides tend to consist of (fake) Burberry caps, hoodies over the top, with the hood constantly up, matching tracksuit bottoms with the lines down the side, and white trainers. They also tend to wear plastic rings from the 20 pence (British money) plastic jewelry vending machines. They buy all their 'bling' or 'heavy shit' with money stolen from their parents or 5-year-olds which they beat up, money found on the floor, or from drug dealing and their girlfriends' prostitution, which brings me onto the female of the species.

Female townies tend to be named after dolls, or celebrities such as 'Britney' or 'Jordan' (Americans, Jordan is a page 3 model famous for her massive big tits). There are two types of female townie. There is the Stripy Pink ...

1. Used to denote a person living in the community who does not attend or work for the college or university.

2. A college-aged person who never leaves the town in which, they went to high school in and they do not work attend any form of college.

3. A local, or person who lives in their place of birth.