The townie allows us to experience first hand what pre-historic man was like, the overhung brow, the tribes, the never-ending reproducing... fascinating stuff! They spend their days preying on so called 'weaker' species such as goths and moshers (i say weaker because we don't feel the need to hang out in groups of 100 just to feel safe), and when they tire of the chase (which isn't very long seeing how much they smoke) the scavenger instinct comes through, and the townie will steal money or food of another prey, ie OAPS and 5 year olds. Naturally this will be done in the large group, as the townie will not attack on it's own. Science tells us that this is how the pre-historical neanderthals behaved, now we have the unique opportunity to study them first hand. Hooray for townies!!
Townie 2: Nickt i' offa kid bruv.
Townie 1: Mate, you're wel' 'ard innit!
Goth walks by.
Townie 1: Oi mate, look a' that goff, he's wel' ashin' for it inne?
Townie 2: Yeah bruv, les go beat 'im up innit!
Townie 1: Na mate, wait til the crew get 'ere, 'ee mite curse us or summat.