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1.
A total utter twat is someone who despite being frequently told that they aren't funny, continue to make shitty jokes about either boring or sensitive subjects.
John- i went for a 3 mile jog yesterday. 2 laps around Mike's mum!
Mike- Yeah thats hilarious. Even funnier the first 30 times you said it.
John- Your mum needs to rub herself in oil to get out of the bath!
Mike- I'm gonna beat the shit out of you, you total utter twat!
by FresherThanAnApple March 29, 2011
4 1
 
2.
God himself or herself considering God's a twat.
When he tests and teases you to the point you want to explode and gives your enemies and bad people everything they want. "Man God's being a total utter twat today".
by dsme July 29, 2011
2 4