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10.
Toms River is a place that seems to have nothing of any value to it other than lots of people and one Little League World Series title. Not to say that isn't a big deal but some of those kids could legitamately have their own kids now. When you tell someone that you live in TR they will ask or asume you play baseball or rattle off ten names of people in the 90,000 person town to see if you know them and if you dont they look at you like you must have lived under a rock. Other than that great sports achievement you would be hard pressed to find any pool of talent in any field from sports to everyday life. Screw teh otehr schools, everythign in TR boils down to the 3-4 high schools. Mon Don being the fourth and forgotten one. HS North, where to start. Might as well be a college campus. They get everything and if they dont have it they have enogh money to buy it and will. The kids there tend to be rich yes snobby superficial and generally better looking than everyone else. Not too bad if you happen to be them. HS East would be the younger sibling in the battle of the 3 high schools. They have everything North does but just less of it. One thing they do have more of is Italians. HS South is the poor retarded step child. They have pride and tradtion. Really South is just a school for burnouts. Any one can make a name for themselves there. Beachwood adds to South's declined wealth as does South Toms River, but STR is the only reason if any taht South does good at sports. No one really judges becasue they are either too dumb or too fucked up to take time to do it. Mon Don is just the private Catholic school that wear uniforms and learn about God or whatever but act like devils. They drink in the parking lot and ahh fuck it who cares no one counts them anyway. Sorry.
What do people do for fun. Well nothing, sadly. Anyone that claims to have a raging social life and also admits to being from toms river is a liar. Everyone has small groups of friends that usually hang out together either at someones house or partying at someone's house. Route 37 and Hooper are the two roads people will drive on just to feel alive and to see otehr people. I'm surprised TR isnt fatter because all people do is go to restaurants mainly applebees because they have half price appetizers but I think it's just to be seen out. You know let people know you are still alive. Sure there is Seaside, but what real entertainment is there on the boardwalk other than watching the pure fact that God has a sense of humor or that he has created some alternate universe with a different species on it that is only about an hour drive away. The boardwalk is just another form of applebees where you can be seen at. The beach is the same way except the beach is actually fun when the local kids arent working all day. Considering that the locals live here and dont vaction here I find that it is harder for locals to get to the beach than it is for actual vactioners. Its just a place for locals to look at each otehr with minimal clothing and stare at vactioners who barely wear anything. Many phone calls go as followed. Hey whats up? Wanna do something? Yeah. What do you want to do? I don't know what is there to do? I don't know wanna jsut come over. And 2 hours later your either at applebees or the boardwalk or wondering why the fuck you sat around the house like there was something better to do.
In TR you gotta make your fun and you gotta make yourself or you'll just rot.
One thing you'll notice about people from toms river is that many arent aware taht there si another world outside of TR. Big deal you were captain of the football team or Prom queen. Guess waht other people in other towns around the globe where too.
If your old I would say retire here because it is just a huge Senior Citizen Living Facility. But if your old you probably dont have a computer and even if you did you wouldnt be on this site....TR 4 Life, I cant help it.
Toms River is the place where dreams come to be crushed and lives come to be wasted from the sheer intangible concept of boredom. But do come enjoy our beaches.
by HIP-HOP Anonymous May 28, 2006
48 66
 
1.
Suburban area where nothing exciting happens. Most importantly, the coolest kids in the world live here. Best known for the Little League Championship winners. Also, everyone here claims that they knew Piper Perabo because this is her hometown. During the summer, Seaside Hts. is overrun with tourists and occasionally MTV for some strange reason. People are being "Made" left and right. We have the worst mall in the world. Kids skip school to go to the beach.
Hey, let's go to the Poland Springs Arena to see Bill Cosby.

Cool Beans or Applebees after the movie?
by Mr. Ritacco January 25, 2005
334 110
 
2.
Where everybody knows your name... because they're talking behind your back. Nights consist of riding up and down 37 and Hooper asking, "So what do you wanna do tonight?" Known nationally for our Little League World Championship, cancerous tap water, and the fact every corner has a Wawa LITERALLY. We gave you Piper Parabo and... We go to the beach, no "down the shore" shit. Seaside is always overrun by BENNY's and the waves are knee high (on good days), but the boardwalk is always good for a fight. Careful of the dunes, they're teeming with horny teenagers and Sand People. Our mall is beat and the best place to smoke up, Castle Park, is across the street from the fucking Police Station! Some MTV executive must own real estate here, cause North is always being Made and we hosted MTV SUMMER for 2 years!?!
Let's go to the TERD (Toms River Diner)!
by El Capitan February 24, 2005
245 112
 
3.
Toms River is a large town with nearly 100,000 people. It is home to the largest suburban school district in the state with over 19,000 students enrolled. It has 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate, and 4 high schools (including Ocean County's only Catholic High School). It is near the beach and Six Flags Great Adventure. It is home to the largest non-teaching hospital in the state and the only mall in the county. Toms River is known for Toms River Fest, one of the Top 100 Events in the country, winning the Little League World Championship in 1998, and one of the largest Halloween parades in the entire world. It is a great place to raise your kids as it is located within one of the top places to live in the country.
I'm going to Toms River for the beach.
by Bobbyan June 29, 2006
120 65
 
4.
Toms River is the greatest place on earth! Everyone who is not from the area talks about it like it sucks, yet they all come here during the summer to go "down the shore" (even if they are traveling north to get here). Tommies are not to be confused with the bennies who come here for vacation. The girls do not wear fifty pounds of make up and twenty pounds of hair everyday, and the boys do not sport Brooklyn Blowouts and wife-beaters to show off their non-muscles and NO ONE has a trashy accent.Toms River is most known for winning The Little League World Championship a few years ago. There are MILLIONS of people in this town which result is 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 4 (soon to be 5) high schools. Toms River North (aka Heroin High because one kid did heroin there like 20 years ago) is where all of the richies of the town go. The girls are hot the guys are good at sports and everyone drives a hot car. It is home of the Poland Springs areana and gets yearly renovations to keep it looking great. It also hosts Toms River Fest, an event that causes everyone who is from Toms River to leave town. Toms River East (Pregnancy Point) is know for having no windows. It's located pretty much in the woods and is filled with prostitots. Toms River South (Suicide South) is the oldest school and needs some fixing up. The students there have the most pride and support their sports and are invovled in most things that go on at the school. They also have a nice downtown area to walk to lunch and eat at Java Joint. Mon Don is the private school where people who are kicked out of the other schools go. If you are hungry just drive for five minutes and you will spot a hundred Wawas no matter where you are. The mall is extremely tiny but kids between 7th grade and 10th grade flock there every Friday night until they discover alcohol. Half of the people who live here were on MTV whether they were being MADE or stopped by Seaside over one of the many summers that MTV was there. When you are from Toms River no matter where you go someone will ask if you know another person from Toms River... and you probably won't. Toms River has one of the largest Halloween Parades in the world. You have to make your own fun in Toms River and if you have great friends that's easy to do.When someone from Tomes River goes away to college they realize how great the town really is. You will never find anyone like a Tommie. Tommies believe that Toms River is the best place on Earth.. and it definately is.
I wish I was from Toms River so I could be as cool as a Tommie.
by Tommie TR December 12, 2007
73 47
 
5.
a town mostt known for the toms river fest. and for bad water and little league. our high school north is spoiled . the tweens love the mall and movie theatre. in the summer, 80% of the residents are at the beach. at night boardwalk fights are basically our CULTURE. we do not pump our own gas. the girls are real and the guys dont walk around in wife beaters.girls dont wear much makeup and the dress in the latest trends. everyone from toms river loves the beach. our life is your vacation :]]
toms river is overrun by bennys.
by holycow123 December 08, 2008
28 22
 
6.
Where wannabe guidos tend to lurk. They also go to teen nightclubs and jerk each other off to house music. Girls that go to teen nightclubs tend to carry around STD's and like to get silly on the dance floor, which is why girls from this scary town are called "sluts". Also, girls from Toms River like to take pictures with duck lips and post them on Facebook, as guys like to take pictures with there shirt off and a hat on, which makes them "fresh". No other town near Toms River likes them, so it's always a big fight which ends up with Toms River getting shat on, usually by Bricktown.
Foreigner: Yo, lets get some bitches from Toms River!

Bricktown kid: I don't want an STD man, let's just drink some Busch.
by Bricktown January 17, 2012
7 8
 
7.
It's a large town in New Jersey that has many schools. This town has too many Wawas and Mcdonalds that a town would ever need. It is located near seaside heights, bricktown, manchester,island heights and beachwood. It is known for its cancerous tap water and the home of the little league world champs. There is a mixture of different social classes in this town, but most people are middle class. The housing consists of anything from trailers to mansions, but mostly mid size houses. The night life in this town could be better, but its not too bad. Many people like to go to the Office Lounge, Fridays, Tiffany's, McIntyres Pub, but many people also like to get out of Toms River and go to places in Seaside Heights, Pt. Pleasant or Belmar. There is a large population of teenagers that have rice burner cars. They like to bring there lawn mower sounding automobiles to white castle, wawa and checkers during the late weekend nights. They hang out there until the police chase them out.
Toms River produces good baseball and bad tap water.
by NDAMIX April 23, 2006
33 40