'Suburban' town with a population of about 90,000. Don't ask me how THAT works out...
Home of like... 11 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 3 high schools. Intermediate North is still West to us, and nobody likes Intermediate South because now we have the effing 6th graders. Anyway.
We don't go 'down the shore' because we are ON the shore. We go to the beach aka. Seaside Heights, which is always a great place to get into a fight. Goddamn fucking bennies
come here from New York and crowd to our beaches, then ask for directions.. and they wonder why they end up 10 miles from where they wanted to be.
The term 'tommies
' originates from a person who lives here.
Everyone knows your name because there is at least one person talking shit behind your back at all times. After the movies, you only go to the mall across the street to get stoned.
The mall is where you go BEFORE a fight. Then you cross the street to the movies.. and fight.
At HS North, you will run into stoners. Frequently. Because everyone knows that High School North is actually called 'Heroin High.' We have a big rock, too. Did you know that?
Toms River is also known for the Little League World Cup or whatever that we won a few years back.
The best place to get stoned is right across the street from a police station. I'm talking about Castle Park, you know.
Just down the road from this police station is Heroin High
. Yeah. We like risk.
Our mall is just called the Ocean County Mall because Toms River is one of the bigger cities in Ocean County. Doesn't mean the mall is of any decency.. I mean.. the only good parts are the emo
, and getting into fights.
People at North are only 'Made' because North is the most popular HS. Nobody would care if someone from the other two were Made.
People here in general are only made because MTV made Seaside Heights their summer home for a couple of years... and everyone knows that Seaside is actually not a seperate town. Here, we consider Seaside a PART of Toms River. Kinda like Silverton. Or Silverhood, if you want. But you have to cross a bridge to get to Seaside.
We have Wawas. EVERYWHERE.
Applebee's is the place to be after a dance. So much so, that you are not allowed to be there after a dance at Intermediate East.
Houses here sell for about 300,000. Without property.
Oh yeah. Our tap water causes cancer. But don't tell that to the bennies.
Everything you need to know about Toms River... Is above.
Suburban area where nothing exciting happens. Most importantly, the coolest kids in the world live here. Best known for the Little League Championship winners. Also, everyone here claims that they knew Piper Perabo because this is her hometown. During the summer, Seaside Hts. is overrun with tourists and occasionally MTV for some strange reason. People are being "Made" left and right. We have the worst mall in the world. Kids skip school to go to the beach.
Hey, let's go to the Poland Springs Arena to see Bill Cosby.
Cool Beans or Applebees after the movie?
Where everybody knows your name... because they're talking behind your back. Nights consist of riding up and down 37 and Hooper asking, "So what do you wanna do tonight?" Known nationally for our Little League World Championship, cancerous tap water, and the fact every corner has a Wawa LITERALLY. We gave you Piper Parabo and... We go to the beach, no "down the shore" shit. Seaside is always overrun by BENNY's and the waves are knee high (on good days), but the boardwalk is always good for a fight. Careful of the dunes, they're teeming with horny teenagers and Sand People. Our mall is beat and the best place to smoke up, Castle Park, is across the street from the fucking Police Station! Some MTV executive must own real estate here, cause North is always being Made and we hosted MTV SUMMER for 2 years!?!
Let's go to the TERD (Toms River Diner)!
Toms River is a large town with nearly 100,000 people. It is home to the largest suburban school district in the state with over 19,000 students enrolled. It has 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate, and 4 high schools (including Ocean County's only Catholic High School). It is near the beach and Six Flags Great Adventure. It is home to the largest non-teaching hospital in the state and the only mall in the county. Toms River is known for Toms River Fest, one of the Top 100 Events in the country, winning the Little League World Championship in 1998, and one of the largest Halloween parades in the entire world. It is a great place to raise your kids as it is located within one of the top places to live in the country.
I'm going to Toms River for the beach.
Toms River is the greatest place on earth! Everyone who is not from the area talks about it like it sucks, yet they all come here during the summer to go "down the shore" (even if they are traveling north to get here). Tommies
are not to be confused with the bennies
who come here for vacation. The girls do not wear fifty pounds of make up and twenty pounds of hair everyday, and the boys do not sport Brooklyn Blowouts and wife-beaters to show off their non-muscles and NO ONE has a trashy accent.Toms River is most known for winning The Little League World Championship a few years ago. There are MILLIONS of people in this town which result is 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 4 (soon to be 5) high schools. Toms River North (aka Heroin High because one kid did heroin there like 20 years ago) is where all of the richies of the town go. The girls are hot the guys are good at sports and everyone drives a hot car. It is home of the Poland Springs areana and gets yearly renovations to keep it looking great. It also hosts Toms River Fest, an event that causes everyone who is from Toms River to leave town. Toms River East (Pregnancy Point) is know for having no windows. It's located pretty much in the woods and is filled with prostitots
. Toms River South (Suicide South) is the oldest school and needs some fixing up. The students there ...
a town mostt known for the toms river fest. and for bad water and little league. our high school north is spoiled . the tweens love the mall and movie theatre. in the summer, 80% of the residents are at the beach. at night boardwalk fights are basically our CULTURE. we do not pump our own gas. the girls are real and the guys dont walk around in wife beaters.girls dont wear much makeup and the dress in the latest trends. everyone from toms river loves the beach. our life is your vacation :]]
toms river is overrun by bennys.
Where wannabe guidos tend to lurk. They also go to teen nightclubs and jerk each other off to house music. Girls that go to teen nightclubs tend to carry around STD's and like to get silly on the dance floor, which is why girls from this scary town are called "sluts". Also, girls from Toms River like to take pictures with duck lips and post them on Facebook, as guys like to take pictures with there shirt off and a hat on, which makes them "fresh". No other town near Toms River likes them, so it's always a big fight which ends up with Toms River getting shat on, usually by Bricktown.
Foreigner: Yo, lets get some bitches from Toms River!
Bricktown kid: I don't want an STD man, let's just drink some Busch.
It's a large town in New Jersey that has many schools. This town has too many Wawas and Mcdonalds that a town would ever need. It is located near seaside heights, bricktown, manchester,island heights and beachwood. It is known for its cancerous tap water and the home of the little league world champs. There is a mixture of different social classes in this town, but most people are middle class. The housing consists of anything from trailers to mansions, but mostly mid size houses. The night life in this town could be better, but its not too bad. Many people like to go to the Office Lounge, Fridays, Tiffany's, McIntyres Pub, but many people also like to get out of Toms River and go to places in Seaside Heights, Pt. Pleasant or Belmar. There is a large population of teenagers that have rice burner cars. They like to bring there lawn mower sounding automobiles to white castle, wawa and checkers during the late weekend nights. They hang out there until the police chase them out.
Toms River produces good baseball and bad tap water.