Moderate symptoms of Tom Cruise Syndrome include:
-thinking you're the shit
-going ape shit on a couch
-losing touch with reality/becoming dellusional
Severe symptoms include:
-believing in scientology
-the inability to be taken seriously
-a dwindling (acting) career
-forcefully converting young and impressionable women to scientology
-jumping on Oprah's (or someone of equal social and economic status) couch to express happiness over marrying one of these forced converts.
-Losing all forms of respect/street cred from the masses do to the symptoms listed above.
Douglas: "So I was trying to watch TV yesterday when my bitchass sister came running into the house screaming that she got accepted to Harvard. She was then struck with a bought of Tom Cruise Syndrome and proceeded to disrupt my TV time by jumping up and down on my goddamn couch while bragging about how smart she is and how stupid I am."
Jermaine: "So what did you do?"
Douglas: "Realizing that she had lost touch with reality, I did the only thing I could do---I 'This is Sparta' kicked her off the couch and struck her repeatedly with her calculus book. Now the dumb whore has brain damage and can't even remember her name. Who's the stupid one now, slut?"