A place for relief of bodily waste out of the anus of the butt. It is usually a low white porcelain "seat" in which you can safely "drop the Cosby Kids off at the pool." <-- this expression can be used to explain politely that you have to do your business.
"Excuse me John, ill be back in a few i just have to drop the Cosby Kids off at the pool."
"Man i had to flush that toilet three times and it nearly sent off the smoke alarm."
by Meech March 28, 2005
A Holy shrine that will take whatever you throw at it. A golden seat of relief.
Guy 1: Dude where were you last night? I thought we were going to hang out?

Guy 2: Sorry man, I was on the toilet , giving it my dinner from last night, I think I partied too hard.

Guy 1: I hear ya, I think my shrine is calling.
by Jo-Bro December 08, 2010
A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.
In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.
by Stormsworder May 15, 2007
A very scary place where even the bravest shit themselves.

Also, a place where you can read newspapers.
"I am the <insert superhero name here>. I am the bravest man/thing in the world. Btw, what's this place??? Oh no!! Toilet!!! Gotta take a shit."

"Damn wife, I can't even read the newspapers in peace."
by Slunjan July 18, 2008
A device used to rid of things you don't want someone to find or be caught with, usually hash or related objects.
The cops showed up, so I flushed my stash in the toilet.
by Moo January 24, 2005
an incredibly difficult target to make when your drunk
i was so hammered last night, i completly missed the toilet
by Magashi April 23, 2009
something you flush things down.
Who smoked my toilet?
by bread infection January 02, 2006

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