Top definition
An outlet you need to bitch about your mean bosses and office jerks or bitches on your cell phone to your spouse, lover, or friend, besides answering nature's call.
The toilet is a sanctuary of choice for multitasking: shitting and SMSing and scribbling aha! ideas on toilet paper.
via giphy
by MathPlus April 11, 2017
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2
A place to sit and think. Also a good place to take a plop.
I'm going to go to the toilet and figure this out.
by Frogbutt November 30, 2004
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3
n. 1. The system of depositing one's feces invented by Mr. Crapper himself when one day his wife got sick of him taking dumps in the kitchen sink.

synonyms-latrine, crapper, lavatory, john, the can, the pot, stool, throne, potty, commode
Seymour likes to drink out of the toilet.
by Seymour Butz March 27, 2003
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4
A seat-like object where you dis-charge feces from the anus.
by Master of Poo March 21, 2005
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5
Its a sanctuary where you take a shit Sometimes you may piss or even upchuck... Human waste goes here.
Cassandra uses the toilet quite often.
by Jazmo February 26, 2006
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6
A Holy shrine that will take whatever you throw at it. A golden seat of relief.
Guy 1: Dude where were you last night? I thought we were going to hang out?

Guy 2: Sorry man, I was on the toilet , giving it my dinner from last night, I think I partied too hard.

Guy 1: I hear ya, I think my shrine is calling.
by Jo-Bro December 08, 2010
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7
A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.
In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.
by Stormsworder May 15, 2007
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