The most wonderful and majestic of all animal species, the Three-Legged tail is a hybrid cross between a male hermit crab, and David Duchovny. The average lifespan of a Three-Legged Tail is between 3 to 5 weeks, at which time it dies of starvation, as it has no means of obtaining nutrients. Although technically a hybrid species, the Three-Legged Tail is not sterile, and in fact, reproduces asexually. Every member of the species is born pregnant, and will give birth after about four hours. It is a highly aggressive animal, and once provoked, will not relent until either it or it's attacker is dead. Although, since the Three-Legged Tail has no eyes, ears, or noses, they are easily avoided. The animal is known for it's tremendous speed on land (it is second only to the cheetah), and spends much of it's short life galloping around aimlessly, presumably in unimaginable agony and despair. A genetic abnormality exists in approximately .03% of the population, which causes the offspring to be born with three wings instead of three legs. Sadly, the Three-Winged Tail is doomed to the same torturous existence.
The Three-Legged Tail is an affront to nature, and an abomination unto the lord.
by Krandall Kramer June 01, 2012