Thor is a member of the Aesir, the tribe of Gods worshipped by the medieval Scandinavian pagans, and some modern nutters. Thor is the defender of the Gods, and the strongest of all of them. In the myths he is mostly fighting giants; Hrungnir and Geirrod were his most famous opponents. He is described as red-haired and bearded. In the Norse myths, his character is strong, loyal and honest. He is often quick to anger, but also quick to regain his temper. However, he is not renowned for his brains, and so has to rely on brawn. One of the myths tells how this does not work for him, when he visits Utgard-Loki the giant and is tricked again and again.

Thor's main weapon is the hammer Mjolnir. This was made for him by the dwarfs Brokk and Eitri. He also has iron gloves and a girdle that doubles his strength. He drives a chariot pulled by two goats and it is the rumble of the chariot wheels in the mountains that was said to be the cause of thunder. Lightning was believed to be the sparks from Thor's hammer, or from the piece of whetstone stuck in his head after his duel with the giant Hrungnir. Once Thor's hammer was stolen by a giant, and held at ransom for the price of Freyja as the giant's wife. To get his hammer back, Thor had to dress as a woman and pretend to be Freyja.

Thor's father is Odin and his mother is the Earth. He is married to Sif, a Goddess of the harvest with golden hair, and has a daughter with her called Thrud. Once, a dwarf called Alvis wanted to marry Thrud, so Thor kept him talking all night until the sun came up and turned Alvis to stone. He also has a giantess mistress, called Jarnsaxa, and with her he has two sons, Magni and Modi, who will survive Ragnarok and become part of the new order of Gods. At Ragnarok, Thor will fight the Midgard Serpent, Jormagund. As he kills it, it will bite him, and Thor will die from the poison in Jormagund's fangs.

Thor was the patron God of freemen, whereas Odin was the patron God of noblemen and also the God of poetry. This meant that Odin was far more widely written about in the medieval poems, but that Thor was far more widely worshipped. This can be seen in the number of Norse names that include Thor. A few examples are Thorgeir (Thor-spear), Thorolf (Thor-wolf), Thorbrand (Thor-sword) and Thorbjorn (Thor-bear). I know of no examples of humans named after Odin. Some historians think that Thor actually replaced Odin as the 'top God' in the later stages of Norse paganism.

Overall, Thor is strong and formidable to his enemies, but also an endearing character because of his good nature and because he is so slow on the uptake.
Most of the definitions on this site show a stereotyped version of Thor, that does not represent his true literary and mythological character.
by A. C. Cooper June 17, 2006
A kickass rockstar who doesn't mess around. HE KEEPS IT REAL SON!!!
Girl: Whoa, that guy is such a Thor, I wanna do him right now!!!
by F-dizzle December 01, 2006
A giant, ~24" dildo. It's freaking huge. Sells for $150.
I raped Jimmy with Thor, and now his pelvis is shattered.
by Vee Are Are Schee July 14, 2004
To Thor is travel around an area looking like you're cooler and smarter than everyone else. Because you are.
Matt said he Thored around town but we knew he was lying.
by Griff Maloney April 27, 2004
A obsessive compulsive body builder typically seen in the gym from open until close no matter what day it might be hogging the equipment you want to use
"I think he knows my workout schedule he never fails to take the machine i need to use." "Fuck that Thor man lets go hit the free weights."
by Trey dudemister December 11, 2007
Thor is the subject, in modern society, of a dualistic nature. In Norse Mythology, Thor is known as the son of Odin, wields the magic hammer, Mjolnir, and he is killed by the Midgard Serpent, Jormagund. But recently, through divine intervention, he has been revived through his eternal tie with the nectar of the Gods, beer. If Thor drank a beer now, its name would be Keystone Light and he would drink every Friday night in Morgantown at the CFC.

Thor is known through cult worship now as the God of the ancient practice of "beer pong."

What is "beer pong" you ask? Though its true meaning was lost some 2500 years ago, it still lives on within the heart of every college student in America. The "game" "beer pong" was originally created by the Norse Gods as a way to ease their stress in a competitive, heterosexual way. One God in particular excelled at the "game," Thor, and he gained much insight into celestial knowledge through it. In fact he was so infatuated with "beer pong" that he snuck it to the mortals on Earth behind the other God's backs, so they too could revel in its glory. Soon the people of Earth loved "beer pong" and all was good in the land.

Shortly after Thor was killed by Jormagund and the people lamented his death. "Beer pong" was ceased for seven years among Norse tribes after Thor's demise, in respect for its patron saint. The ancient practice soon fell into oblivion along with the Viking Boy Band, The Back-Fjord Boys and also a popular dance craze called, Smite the Christian.

Some 2500 years later, the spirit of Thor was revived and he once again bestowed the game "beer pong" upon the college students of America, who are known as the "chosen ones."

To this day Thor can beat anyone at beer pong and can still drink them under the table. Thor currently resides in Morgantown with his 157 wives which he rails every night...in succession, without respite. He also attends CFC every Friday night and manifests himself in human form within a lucky contender...usually Mon.

And the story continues...
My God, (insert name) is amazing, he owned that 1, 4, 6 split! The divine presence of Thor must be with him on this night.
by E-65 October 06, 2006
"pronounced Thaw"

Insensitive yet paradoxically oversensitive little man carrying the same hairstyle since 1988. Only listens to music his parents like. Displays classic symptoms of short man syndrome, and often goes long periods without any social interaction with friends.
"Be careful of that Thor coming down the road, who knows what it will do"
by W Bonez April 26, 2007
Thor is the subject, in modern society, of a dualistic nature. In Norse Mythology, Thor is known as the son of Odin, wields the magic hammer, Mjolnir, and he is killed by the Midgard Serpent, Jormagund. But recently, through divine intervention, he has been revived through his eternal tie with the nectar of the Gods, beer. If Thor drank a beer now, its name would be Keystone Light and he would drink every Friday night in Morgantown at the CFC.

Thor is known through cult worship now as the God of the ancient practice of "beer pong."

What is "beer pong" you ask? Though its true meaning was lost some 2500 years ago, it still lives on within the heart of every college student in America. The "game" "beer pong" was originally created by the Norse Gods as a way to ease their stress in a competitive, heterosexual way. One God in particular excelled at the "game," Thor, and he gained much insight into celestial knowledge through it. In fact he was so infatuated with "beer pong" that he snuck it to the mortals on Earth behind the other God's backs, so they too could revel in its glory. Soon the people of Earth loved "beer pong" and all was good in the land.

Shortly after Thor was killed by Jormagund and the people lamented his death. "Beer pong" was ceased for seven years among Norse tribes after Thor's demise, in respect for its patron saint. The ancient practice soon fell into oblivion along with the Viking Boy Band, The Back-Fjord Boys and also a popular dance craze called, Smite the Christian.

Some 2500 years later, the spirit of Thor was revived and he once again bestowed the game "beer pong" upon the college students of America, who are known as the "chosen ones."

To this day Thor can beat anyone at beer pong and can still drink them under the table. Thor currently resides in Morgantown with his 157 wives which he rails every night...in succession, without respite. He also attends CFC every Friday night and manifests himself in human form within a lucky contender...usually Mon.

And the story continues...
My God, (insert name) is amazing, he owned that 1, 4, 6 split! The divine presence of Thor must be with him on this night.
by E-65 October 07, 2006
Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×