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3.
An alright game, with about several million difficulties in The Sims AI...

Sim 1: ZZzzzzz....

-Alarm goes off-

Sim 1: WTF!? Crap, my alarm. I better go to work. Oh no I have to crap, and I can't go through that doorway into the bathroom because a bookcase is slightly blocking it. OH CRAP!

-pisses on floor-

Sim 1: Oh god, my hands are filthy from pissing! I must wash them!

-Sim 1 glances at clock-

Sim 1: 7:59am? I've got plenty of time! Nothing can stop me from washing my stinkin' hands, and I'm still in my pajamas. I'm also about to die of hunger because I wanted to play goddamn basketball all of yesterday, which is my only day off for the whole week!

-crappy carpool pulls up at driveway, stays for three seconds, and quickly speeds off-

Sim 1: Oh well. I'll be fired from my job which I have worked for about five months, without a single promotion, because I couldn't make any friends due to the fact my
house's front yard is uneven, and I can't build any pathways or even the ground out because I have no money, due to the fact I spent it all to make myself happy with an art easel that he barely ever uses. I'm hungry!

-Sim 1 screams and has fit-

Sim 1: Here is my wife, Bella, strolling around the house reading books and poking at the dead fish in the aquarium that we forgot to feed.

Bella: Sims ajhda dasdhasd hgas hdgas hdg!

-Bella points at her stomach-

Sim 1: Oh god, she's hungry again. And I keep telling you, Bella, stop talking in incoherent mumblings! Use your thought-bubbles and speech-bubbles!!

Bella: -creates thought bubble thinking of a cross over Sim 1-

Sim 1: Much better. Anyway, I hear the Repo Man clearing out our house due to unpaid bills! Better rescue our darling daughter from the attic!

Bella: -creates speech bubble picturing a girl with a cross over her-

Sim 1: Oh, right. She's at Military School because we forgot to set her alarm to wake up at the right time... whoops!

-Repo Man claims piano, fridge, TV, bookcase, dead fish, table, five chairs, couch, wardrobe, double bed, single bed, and then the art easel-

Sim 1: Awww! My art easel that I never use!

Bella: -creates speech bubble with tombstone on it-

Sim 1: What are you talking ab-oh crap.

-Bella keels over onto the floor and the Grim Reaper comes in-

Sim 1: Oh my god! My darling Bella! Please, Grim Reaper sir, please bring her back!

-Grim Reaper motions for Paper Scissors Rock-

Sim 1: Alright.

-Sim 1 loses-

Sim 1: SHIT.

-Grim Reaper goes away, and the body of Bella turns into an ornament-

Sim 1: NOOOOO! BELLA WHYY!?!
-cries for eight hours at tombstone-
Oh damn I'm getting hungry. Nevermind, I'm dirty again, somehow. I better go brush my teeth, which is stupid because
I am completely filthy and need a bath, or shower. Ok, my teeth are clean, now since I'm at a mirror, I need to practice my charisma until I pass out...

-hears improvement music in backround after six hours-

Sim 1: YES! I did i..i...t... -passes out-

-Sim 1 falls asleep and wakes up again. Sim 1 calls for pizza-

Sim 1: GSG SDAHGD AJSDG hsgahgdajs hgdkjaH GJHGSAjhg fiASHDAG.

Pizza Service: SHJGDA SKJGD7Y WG $40 DGAG SAHDASDF VSADVGFAGF.

Sim 1: sad sahd.

-Sim 1 hangs up-

Sim 1: I'm still tired. The pizza service will take an hour, I might as well go to bed, and wake up at half past. Even with 30 minutes, I will not make it anyway because it takes me an hour to travel downstairs and take the longest and most drawn out route availible to the front door to grab a pizza which won't appetise me fully at all.

-Sim 1 feels funny-

Sim 1: Erm... I feel... dizzy... -dies-

You: OMFG! FINALLY! I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER DIE! OMFG I HATE THIS GAME!

-You smash computer-

That game sucks. Honestly. Don't buy The Sims.
by Tattaglia December 09, 2006
 
15.
Awful computer game, where you serve as a god/deity that invokes your will on people too stupid to know when to take a shit, walk to the mailbox, and wake up in time for work.

The adults appear to have a mental illness, and a poor attention span, as they cannot stop chatting about soccer, airplanes, mountains, money, and the local burglar without crying a river, run back into their house, pee over the carpet, and still welcome their guests in to their kitchen, where a thriving colony of roaches and ants are having a squaredance in tile:#3457.

Sometimes the children are smarter and more active than their parents, keeping their fun, comfort, and social levels up, while somehow attaining a genetic trait that grants them immortality. However, if they ever miss a single bus when the time arrives, a humvee arrives to take them to military school.

Often its funnier to make the lives of your "victims" as agonizing as possible, rather than making them successful and prominent members of Simian society.
I built a two story blood-speckled castle for the Weyland family, a tribe of demons visiting Sim-Estates to harvest fresh souls for the summoning of Cthulu. Already in the first 24 hours I had killed 80 Simian men.

Ah the joys of The Sims!
by Chang Tan May 29, 2005