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1.
That which must be manned.

Used in jest when an overweight and obnoxious girl enters the room and you want her removed. Alludes to whaling harpoons.

Or, simply, a joke to crack when a large woman is observed.
*an obese, obnoxious woman enters room*

Charlie: Oh my god, that is horrid! We're gonna die!!!

Dane: She'll eat us alive, for sure! AAHH!!

Keith: Nonsense! The harpoons, Charlie! Man them at once!

*battle ensues*
by mightymoksha September 27, 2009
 
2.
A sexual act in which while fisting a girl you open your hand while it is inside of her so that she is unable to escape. Based on the manner in which a barbed harpoon will not exit once it punctures its target.
Frank: "Yo I just harpooned my feeble asian girlfriend last night, it was ridiculous!"
Alex: "Once you launch the harpoon, you can't get that shit out!"
by Rami Blackhole Triangle February 27, 2011