"Boy what da fuck? This aint the Woodlands!"
You know you live in the woodlands when....
- you can valet park at the mall
- your dad makes more money in one week than your government teacher does in an entire year
- it isnt exciting anymore to pass a lamborghini, ferrari, or bentley on the road any given day
- at school you park between an h2 and an escalade
- you see about 500 bmws a day
- every girl, starting at the age of 12, has a coach purse
- your best friend's pregnant
- you've never shared a bathroom in your life
- the Texan cheerleaders perform at your high school pep rally
- you can talk to someone in Illinois and they assume that you must be rich
- nick lachey sings at your prom
- you have to ask permission to paint your house
- your high school is rated the snobbiest in America according to David Letterman
- if you have nothing to do you buy some beer and drive around
- one haircut can change your reputation
- myspace takes the place of homework
- lunch tables are individual and round
- you pay someone to hang your christmas lights and mow your lawn
- the maids come every other wednesday
- your parents own multiple houses
- you go to jamaica, thailand, spain, belize, or the bahamas on a regular basis
- you suck if you dont get a beach house for prom
- you go skiing every year
- your school field trips include New York and Europe
- deaths and car accidents are usual
- your school has more people in it than some colleges
- you have to schedule an updo appt 6 months in advance if you want someone decent
- the sports teams travel in charter buses
- parties have top shelf liquor
- you go to a theme party every weekend
- they build your own skating rink in the winter
- there are only 3 cheap stores in the whole mall (and that's for the people who come to The Woodlands to shop but aren't actually from The Woodlands)
- when you need a plain white tank top and go to Bebe first
- you spend $95 on a christmas gift for your friend
- girls have 2 boyfriends
- nothing stays a secret
- about half the kids go to church, and out of that half only 10% actually follow religion faithfully
- your jeans cost the same price as ur video ipod
- mums cost $200
- if you dont have confidence or money, you are nothing
- you take your car to Aqua every week and just let someone else clean it
- there's a starbucks on every corner
- they put a tommy bahama's in..since those are mostly at vacation destinations (look it up)
- Fleming's is the new TGI Fridays
- you drop a quarter and just leave it cuz you dont feel like bending over for it
- you cant find your bmw at the mall, because there are 55 others just like it
- you see at least one new person in school every day
- you have a personal trainer
- you have the vbest new cell phone before it even comes out
- they serve Chic-Fil-A, Pizza Hut, Quiznos, and Smoothie King in ur school cafeteria
- you go buy Chanel glasses for yourself as a pity gift because you're having a bad day
- your dog is treated better than your sister
- you have a fridge in your room so that you dont have to go alllllll the way downstairs when you want a cold bottle of water
- you have more than one closet
- you're 17 and have a plastic surgeon
- a cheap mall trip only costs $500
- your driveway is gated
- you get fined if your fence isn't the right color or height
- just about every decent concert tour comes to the pavilion
- a decent date consists of dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and a walk through Market Street
- you hear parents talk about what a great "family community" this place is, and you hear your 13 year old sister talking about how wasted she and her friends got the night before.
- your orthodontist drives a porsche, at least when he isn't driver his other cars
- your friends are all gorgeous
- your diamonds are real
- you hook up with someone and by second period the next day, the whole school knows
- you get judged right away when people know where you are from
- you live on a Jack Nicklaus golf course
- your parents buy you multiple cars before you buy your own
- you can screw off in high school and college and still get a badass job cause your dad is a corporate executive with connections
- your football team could kick many colleges' football teams
- there are kids at your high school who can score perfectly on the ACT and SAT
- making millions of dollars from hard work and/or connections isn't even that attractive, it's the power that motivates
Don't care about seeing Porche's anymore
Drop a quarter and don't bother picking it up
Complain about getting an '04 BMW instead of the '05 Benz that you wanted.
1. I'm not blond haired and blue eyed, and neither is at least 60% of the girls her.
2. We are not all stoned, all the time. Just because we have money doesn't mean we use drugs, although some do.
3. We have amazing achievements academically, people need to stop saying otherwise.
4. Most teenagers do not have brand new BMWs like some think, just because our parents do doesn't mean they will waste it on us.
5. Car accidents and deaths are NOT the norm, and it is very sad when that occurs.
6. Very few families own two houses. Once again, JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE MONEY DOESN'T MEAN WE JUST THROW IT AROUND WITHOUT EVEN CONSIDERING IT!!!!!!
7. People don't always cheat on there boyfriend/girlfriend and spread rumors and secrets.
8. Most high schoolers are fairly nice and hard working.
Those are just a few responses to the many people who hate the woodlands for no reason. I actually do want to leave this place once I graduate high school, but I don't hate it like people who don't know what they are talking about seem to.
Student: "Um... I have a '97 Honda Civic, that I saved up to buy."
Out of towner: "Why? You live in The Woodlands."
Student: " THAT DOESN'T MEAN I GET EVERYTHING I WANT!!!"