The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(