Step 1: Find a bitch. No, not a female dog.
Step 2: Seduce said bitch.
Step 3: Choose your favorite position and proceed to fuck her.
Step 4: Do not pull out, blow your load inside of her.
Step 5: When she freaks out because she is not on birth control and you didn't wear a condom, throw sand in her face, and run away.
There you have it! The Tourist, in all of its glory, has you leaving fun and little illegitimate souvenirs for all to enjoy!
"Hey man. I went to Cancun for spring break and pulled The Tourist on some Mexican whore. To think my parents said they'd never be grand parents."