|1.||The One, Two Monkey Punch|
A really quick masturbation session, less then one minute. Normally performed in haste in someone else's house while pretendig to use the bathroom. Not to be confused with the "One Ham Slam" that can occur with just one, quick and almost violent pull of the male penis to reach ejaculation.
He only looks happy because he just pulled off the one, two monkey punch in the mall bathroom after seeing your hot Mom.