The party then attempts to return to their clan’s homepage, Ithaca.net, but due to a 404 Error Redirect, they land on the site of the Lotus Eaters instead. The Lotus Eaters are a group of lethargic people who enjoy watching optical illusions and double rainbows while snacking on some joints. They manage to persuade a few of Odysseus’s men to sample some Lotus/M. C. Escher, and the noobs get their minds blown and refuse to leave the site with the clan. Odysseus pimpslaps some sense into them and brings them with him anyways, and they web-surf away to the forum of the Cyclopes.
Silly 1500 character count, this isn't even a 1/4th of the story!
Odysseus stumbles upon the webcam show of Calypso, who keeps him entranced for seven days. Eventually, Anon/Zeus sends Hermes to Calypso’s website, forcing the webcam show to be shut down and allowing Odysseus to escape and attempt to return home. However, webmaster Poseidon manages to stall Odysseus yet again, giving him another 404 Error Redirect to the forum of Phaeacia.
At Phaeacia, Odysseus starts a thread about his journey so far, and pleads for help from the Phaeacians. They pity him, and allow Odysseus to piggy-back on their connections to quickly return to Ithaca.net.
She directs him to 4chan’s thread archive, where Odysseus finds a thread with Philosoraptor/Teiresias being OP. Odysseus bumps the thread with a necropost, and Philosoraptor/Teiresias responds with a post containing guidance for the dangers ahead. Other users find the thread, though, and start replying as well. Odysseus’s mother copy-pastes a creepypasta from /x/ describing her death and the situation at home, and Agamemnon gives Odysseus dating advice while warning him of telling women to go make him a sandwich.
Bypass 1500 character count pl0x?
Odysseus then meets up with Aeolus, and asks for a Paypal donation in order to help him pay for an upgrade from dial-up internet to Verizon FiOS so that he can find his way back to Ithaca.net faster. Aeolus donates, but Odysseus’s men, thinking that the transaction contained keygens for Starcraft, hack into the transaction. Paypal, sensing a security breach, shuts down its services for the next forty-eight hours, preventing Odysseus from claiming his money, and therefore, his high-speed fiber-optics internet.
The clan then journeys onward to the private site of the Laestrygonians. The Laestrygonians, being the code monkeys that they are, are excited at the arrival of Odysseus and his men. They launch experimental cyber-attacks at the party, and only Odysseus’s squad manages to escape.
1500 character count is still silly.
Person 2: No but I looked up the summary on Sparknotes
Person 1: Damn I should have thought of that before enduring such torcher!