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1.
Just a tiny part of the awful truth about "Canada", the Mime Army is the forced military of the country that is known of as "Canada" that the world knows.
It is thought that the idea to create an army of unwilling mimes came about when the governing forces of "Canada" decided it would look weird if they didn't have soldiers that didn't look like the hideous hulking walruses they are, and that forcing mimes to be soldiers against their will was fun and hilarious.
Actually members of a mime guild, the inhabitants of "Canada" and the rest of the world do not know of the Mime Army's plight. The evil walrii, the real governing force of "Canada" and possibly the United States, with the use of sound devices, speak for the mime/soldier's when their voices need be heard.

The mime army unfortunately will not speak out about their plight due to the member's strict and heartfelt vow of silence, which all mimes adhere to, and the threat of murder by the Clown Death Squad (see Clown Death Squad).
New mimes are "recruited" frequently by the Clown Death Squad, forced or coerced using the mimes' financial situation (the demand for mimes has been dwindling with the growing, but superficial, social popularity of "freedom of speech" and the like), so training them is unnecessary as members are easily replaced if killed due to their ineptitude or lack of adequate equipment.
The Mime Army's plight continues to remain unnoticed and any who know of it refuse to speak or gesture of it.
No one wants to speak about the Mime Army.
by James Dracon May 10, 2011
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