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2.
A kick-ass dance band that makes you tap your feet and shake your booty. They come from Irvine, California.
Dude! I saw The Jakes last night. They told me to "Just dance, bitch" and I couldn't help it, I just DANCED!
by The Jakes May 08, 2006
 
1.
the feds
Federal agents
yo, everybody clear, it's the jake
by Countbass C August 21, 2003
 
3.
The police, usually just traffic officers.
The Jakes are everywhere in these parts.
by Jaimey September 01, 2005
 
4.
The Wu-Tang Clan popularized "The Jakes" as being the cops... Pigs... C-Cipher Punks... The Beast.
"Beefing, leaving behind cream, Not even peeping that I was leaking, Won't see the precinct just got a recent case beaten, Still The Jakes are creeping, Keep the ruger peeling who's squealing...
by Ryan Nash August 03, 2007
 
5.
N. A Whiny bitch in a group of friends that gets what he considers a girlfriend, but in reality she lives over 1000 miles away and has never seen her in person. And after said "girlfriend" breaks up with him, he whines and cries for days on end till he remembers he only needs his hand so he can at least beat off with it.
Example 1-

Friend 1 : "So how's your ex girlfriend, Jake?"

Jake: "SHUT UP! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!!!"

Friend 2: "Really? You've never even banged her..."

Example 2- Friend

Friend 1: "Is Jake still crying over that girl?"

Friend2: " No he rediscovered his hand."

The Jake: " I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW. I'M TAKING YOU OFF MY FRIENDS LIST ON XBOX LIVE NOW! ASSHOLE!!"

*The Jake runs off and cries. Then beats off.*

Friend1: "Wow. What a shame..."
by Not Tenspeed. May 10, 2010
 
6.
Mythological The one real egg head at Brigham Young University. Characterized by lack of bathing, putrid foot odor, crazy hair, and mod Clothes.
That guy has feet like the jake.
by idedontknow October 25, 2004
 
7.
A girl that eats shit and loves eating shit. She doesn't even want anything in return. A girl that just loves the shit.
I was gonna take a fat shit in the toilet, but instead the jake took it all in her mouth.

Does that girl really eat shit? Yea man, she is a total jake.
by Broass June 09, 2006