Name: The Grump
Age: Unknown (Created before the Universe)
The Grump came into existence quadrillions of years before the universe was created. 14 billion years ago, he became bored for the first time, so he invented Mexican food. He didn't know what to do with the creation so, after 18 thousand years, he ate it. The diabolical invention gave the Grump gas which then erupted from his anus with the force of 900 decillion megaton nuclear warheads and thus, created the universe. The universe aged, and for a time it was good. He wandered from planet to planet, destroying billions of highly advanced races in distant galaxies. On one fateful day, the Grump found the Milky Way (named as such because its core is comprised mainly of the Grump's semen). He wandered aimlessly around the galaxy until he found our Solar System and not long after... our planet. Luckily for Human kind as we know it, he enjoyed the climate, and the Oceans (which at the time, were only fresh water, but the Grump had a sexual appetite that literally exploded into the oceans. Thus Salt water was born). The Grump became lonesome on the lifeless planet and so he created fossils, which amused him to a degree for millions of years. But he soon became lonesome again and invented the Dinosaurs. He enjoyed there company and used ...