First put your sweet lady friend's (and/or your female cousin's) legs behind her head. While her legs are behind her head, sex it up. Make sure you deposit all your money in her vault, if you know what I mean. Then stick your face in her vagina. The lady has to squeeze her legs around your head and at the precise moment, she'll yell, "YOU'RE FIRED!" and then she'll queef and your investment will be returned tenfold all over your face.
Guy 2: "I skipped the necklace and gave her the Donald"
The Donald Trump: "Get over here Marla, i just got back from the jeweler's, lets see how much you're worth!"