Wife: I found a xerox box full of porn in the closet. What the hell Jim?
Husband: Well, I wouldn't need porn if you would put out more than once a month!
Me: That's my cue...See you guys later!
Jill: Eww gross! The dog had diarrhea on the carpet again Sean!
Sean: That's my cue...I'll be at the bar if you need me.