1. The worst fucking state of the entire union. America needs Texas like humanity needs another Nickelback album. This is a state so backwards, that George W. Bush is still popular there--Texas still thinks he shits gold and pisses crude oil. If Texas is really going to secede the states as Govenor Rick Perry says, LET THEM! America will let them dwell in their abundance of teen pregnancies for a year until they are a third-world country, then we will come in, knock down all their shitty little buildings, enslave them and make them a servent class, (seeing how Texans aren't really people) and lastly, sell Texas back to Mexico making a satisfying profit
2. A cesspool of crazy fucks who still like George W. Bush and think it is alright to have sex with their brothers and sisters.
*School spelling bee*
Teacher: "Could you spell the world Texas?"
Student: "Could you give me a definition?"
Teacher: "Texas: a state that just sucks dick."
Student: "T-E-X-A-S, Texas!"
A very large state, indeed.
-Ask any child under eight there to draw the world and you will see them carefully outline the shape of texas.
-Home to the #1 and #2 most overweight cities in America, statistically of course. sounds good.
-In 2004, half of all death penalties in the U.S were sentenced in Texas. Are texas criminals somehow worse than that of all other U.S. states
-Just because the people of Texas are mainly responsible for George Bush's rise to the presidency, doesn't mean they are all like he is. However, Texas is a portion of the "Bible Belt" and is therefore overwhelmed by very conservative, religious, ignorant and change-averse people.
-Minorities, Liberals, and above all, Homosexuals beware of Texas.
-The majority of ALL U.S. hate-crimes are committed here.
-This does not apply to every person in Texas. However, take a moment and check out the posts made by its very own residents. I'd say it's applicable to most of them, as well as many people you meet from Texas.
-Texas truly deserves to be it's own country.
-Wait for the ignorant, poor-grammar, homophobic, lengthy, vulgar responses to this post-variations of the word "FAGGOT" are likely to be used. Watch how quickly and blindly these people stand up and fight for a their home state, with no factual evidence or support. Soon, some will recognize the validity of this definition.
A whole lot of nothing.
In some places:
A bunch of blowhard, racist, sexist, homophobic cowboys who love to fuck each other almost as much as they like to fuck their cattle, and sisters. "Brokeback Texas" is more like it.
In other places:
Full of black gangsters who are just angry because mexicans are taking over and kicking the fuck out of them.
Full of lard assed fat animals who would make the phantom of the opera cringe in disgust
Black Texan: Don't mess with me, i'm from Texas! (Pulls out a knife)
Mexican: Shut up, negrito! (Pulls out an AK-47)
White Texan: Golly gee, billy bob! Can I go out wit yer sister?
Billy bob: Sorry, I got her pregnant, she has to stay indoors.
The land of conservatives, cowboys, drunkards, fat dudes, and stupid people riding on cows.
Man 1:George Bush was one of the worst presidents.
Man 2: Well no kidding, he was governer of Texas
Texas A place that we are all very jealous of and wished we lived in.
A place with suburbs filled with houses that look exactly the same as far as the eye can see.
Where the people are all thirty-two stone and there are no sidewalks, because nobody walks anymore.
Fat Texan grunts at six in the morning as his daily heart attack wakes him up.
He goes down to the kitchen, devoures eighteen slices of bacon, four eggs, thirty-seven pancakes and a liter of Dr. Pepper.
He then puts on his cowboy hat and his boots, puts on his belt with the obnoxious belt buckle that is shaped like Texas and puts his gun in the holster.
He then walks out the door, determined to make it to the bottom of the driveway to retrieve the mail...walking...walking...
halfway down the Texan fails as usual and collapses into a grunting heaving heap.....
Don't mess with Texas.
Home to fake coyboys and pickup trucks.
Howdy! Let's throw that hay in the back of mah truck and let's head on down to Houston, Texas!
Home of Dr. Pepper
, small-town hospitality as long as you aren't different in any way, and a 25%+ obese
They are NOT the biggest state in the country....Alaska
could fit two Texas' inside of it and still have room left over.
It's true that they were their own country up until 1845....because they loved Slavery
too much to give it up to join the union.
Like most everywhere else, pockets of ignorance and bigotry
can still be found...it's just that in Texas those pockets are the size you find on an obese mans jeans.
Things you will see if you go to Texas:
People flying the confederate flag and saying it's 'Heritage not Hate', despite not having any previous family members who served in the Confederate Army.
Women that are 300+ lbs with a 'Hot Mama' or 'Sexy Chick' sticker on the back of their SUV.
Places where you can get something fried, dipped in chocolate and fried again.