(Simile.) Describes a badly overgrown ladygarden
in need of a lot of TLC. (And possibly an industrial-sized strimmer.)
"I pulled down her knickers, and she had a twat like Terry Waite's allotment! I've seen long-haired poodles with less hair than her!"
Self-explanatory to Britishers in the 1990's, this description of unruly hair will puzzle the rest of us, so:
1. Terry Waite served as the Anglican Church's international diplomacy negotiator. In 1987, he was himself taken hostage in Lebanon and held mostly in solitary confinement until his release in 1991. He's a well-known public speaker now.
2. "Allotment" in Britain is an urban rented garden patch.
Hence, Terry Waite's allotment would be untended and weed-choked.
I haven't determined if Waite actually was an allotment holder at the time of his confinement.
The man on the bench had a red beard like Terry Waite's allotment.
I got totally ambushed, she was groomed like Terry Waite's allotment.