You: No, sorry. I'm not interested
Note; Telemarketers only understand the 'interested' of this sentence.
Tele: Well howa 'bout a nice, comfy-
You (more agitated): No. Sorry but-
Tele: Would you like to subscribe to-
You (bursts): NO I WOULD NOT. YOU CAN GO SUCK YOUR MOM'S BALLS AND GO THE FUCK AWAY!
TELEMARKETER: Hello, is this Mr. (my name)?
ME: Yes, how can I help you?
TELEMARKETER: Hi! I represent the Federal Guarantee Life Insurance Company, and I'd like to talk to you about--
ME: Excuse me...there's someone at my door. Could you hold on for a moment?
(I go off to watch TV and return five minutes later)
ME: You still there?
ME: Fuck you, dickwad. --click--
The worst kind of salesman in the universe.
Traits: Officious, sometimes bullshittingly "polite" pricks who will recall your number over and over when they aren't scamming other random phone numbers.
How to deal with them: Shoot em up! ...er, i meant
How to really deal with them: Whenever one of these calls you, immediately i.d. which category it falls into:
Subcription for 40 months of shitty magazines you dont need
Now the fun part. Keep acting like youre interested in whatever theyre offering. Thank them for every last excruciating detail they throw at you at hyper-machine gun speed so they have trouble concentrating trying to sucker you into their shit. Prolong everything. Ask questions about everything they say (be sure to sound as happy as can be, and as interested as a masochist in hell). Then, when the inevitable closing deal part of the conversation comes, your choices are:
"Fuck youz" + Hang-up
"Go fuck yourself"
"Get a real job"
"U r SuxOr"
"i did your mom"
Be creative. Let your imagination take over in getting back at these asses. Peace`=)
All mentioned above, kiss my ass
These lovely individuals. are usually payed high, but work on commission, so they have to be good at what they do.
2. One of those times its O.K. to feel like you wanna kill someone.
3. Makes you wish you had Caller ID or even a Telezapper.