A man who, while under the influence of alcohol or other mind-altering substances, masturbates and uses his tears as lubricant. A tear jerker may also be defined as a date or encounter with a woman which results in the afore mentioned definition.
This idea is referenced, but not directly named, in the popular film, "Waiting...".
A dialogue from the movie, "Waiting...".
Dean: Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in? Nothing! You take them out, you pay for everything - you never make a move!
Monty: And then you go home... alone... to masturbate... while you cry... using your own tears as lubricant.
Calvin: Ok that was once... and I was drunk... and it was Valentine's Day.
Calvin is a total tear jerker.
A movie that is often intended for women that had a sad, emotional ending.
Terms of Endearment was a tearjerker, because of that funeral at the end.
To shed tears onto one's penis while masturbating, typically following rejection, failure, or general sorrow.
A: Well, the Lions lost again—better go home and cry on my dick.
B: Yeah, last week I had a nice tear jerker set to Jewel's "Foolish Games".
When you have sex with a girl with a glass eye and when you are about to blow your load you take her glass eye out ejaculate in her eye socket and put the eye back in so the glass eye forces out a tear of jizz
Man: I'm so good baby I'll make cry
Glass eyed woman: Okay but you have to clean my eye after the Tear Jerker. I hate cleaning jizz off my glass eye.
When the man ejaculates
up the girl's nose, the semen
accumulates so much that it oozes out of her tear ducts. If it doesn't ooze
out right away, the man punches
her in the face to induce crying.
Cory: "Oh yeah, here it comes, where do you want it?"
Topanga: "I feel like being kinky...why don't you give me a Tear-jerker?"
Cory: "Oh ya...that's SO hot."
*Cory ejaculates and makes high-pitched orgasm screeches*
*Topanga makes snorting sounds*
Cory: "Hey, it's not coming out of your eyes!"
*Cory punches Topanga in the face*
*Topanga cries cum*
Cory: "Yeah...that's better. By the way, bitch, I got AIDS."
*Topanga cries more cum*
To masturbate furiously while crying about your inability to get laid or the fact that you are just a pussy in general.
Fred struck out with all the skanks at the bar, so he went home to give himself a tear jerker.
A man who uses his own tears as lubrication during masturbation.
Jack is such a creep, he's a tearjerker.
Someone who saves their own tears for the sole purpose of using them as lubrication for masturbation. (Not to be confused with someone who weeps while masturbating)
I've been saving my liquid misery in a jar for the past two months, just so I could have a Tear Jerker.