verb: to taser means to draw one's hand back and jab at rapid speed into the neck/jugular of a victim. Make the "tsss" sound while tasering. The neck area is merely a guide line. for best results taser a person who is unsuspecting, and laugh at their misfortune.
Yo man, Colleen was eating dinner in the dining hall, I creped up behind that cunt, and tasered her to the point that I left a bruise. Wow what a towel...
by Andrew Wright October 07, 2007

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Top Definition
A "Less than Lethal" weapon used to incapacitate a person without killing them. Generally used by police. Fires two barbed prongs up to twenty feet which then penetrate the skin and deliver an extremely painful shock causing the perosn to fall to loose control of their muscles, fall to the ground and do the crappie flop and sometimes piss themselves.
COP: Hey shitbag. You're under arrest, turn around and put your hands behind your back.

SHITBAG: Fuck you pig. You better call for back-up

COP: Takes out Taser and repeats his order.

SHITBAG: Fuck you:

COP: Shoots shitbag with Taser and laugh's while shitbag does the crappei flop on the ground.

SHITBAG: (After he regains control of his muscles) Rolls over and puts his hands behind his back to be handcuffed while complaining about how bad it hurt and he pissed himself.

COP: Laughs hysterically while handcuffing shitbag.
by Shock Therapy April 28, 2005

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Although the word "taser" is not an acronym, one particular model is labeled as: TActical System of Electrical Response.
Sort of completes the pantheon of great acronyms. Or somthing like that.
Scenario 1-
Police Officer: "Halt eveil-doer, lest I be forced to use my TActical System of Elictrical Rosponse upon ye!"

Criminal: "Huh?"

Scenario 2:

Police officer: "Freeze scumbag!!" -sound of taser firing-

Criminal: "AAAaaagghhhh!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 25, 2007

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A taser is a small handheld device used for shocking. It emits small and relatively harmless amounts of electricity, but still a little painful.
Well, John was being an idiot so I pulled my taser and shocked him.
by Party Pooper August 09, 2004

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T: teaching
A: africans
S: self
E: earned
R: respect
Cop: I'm in foot pursuit of a black male.

When the cop catches up.

*TICK TICK TICK TICK* Taser goes on to dirtbag...
by thatonekid856 October 18, 2010

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They are hand-held weapons that deliver a jolt of electricity — up to 50,000 volts — from up to 10.6 metres away. The shot can penetrate up to five centimetres of clothing.

It stuns the target by causing an uncontrollable contraction of the muscle tissue. He/she is immobilized and falls to the ground — regardless of pain tolerance or mental focus.

TASER stands for Thomas A. Swift Electric Rifle, from the Tom Swift series of children's novels written in the early 20th century, including Tom Swift and his Electric Rifle. The real stars of the series of science-fiction novels were potential advances in technology.

from "cbc news"
Canadian police say Tasers have saved 4,000 lives since police forces started using them in this country in 1999.
by MagL November 15, 2007

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A penis enlarger for law enforcement officials. Seem to be used more often than necessary, sometimes by off duty cops at parties with their friends.
Isn't it bullshit that civilian tasers aren't as powerful as the police models? This is why I have my CCW and carry with hollowpoints. Also, I fear the day when gangs discover tasers and start using them on innocent people.
by Master Batter September 17, 2008

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A valuable tool for police when dealing with uncooperative shit bags, as can be seen in this priceless video:

http://www.wimp.com/ladytasered
I never laughed so hard in my life, did you see that uppity sack of crap go from tough talking badass to sqealing crybaby? Man that video is funny!
by Dodger June 06, 2005

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