Tard: Van Helsing is basically a reinactment of Lord of the Rings
(While playing a GameBoy Advance)
Tard: This technology is great. If hadn't won Pearl Harbor, we wouldn't have this kind of technology!
(After viewing a skit on SNL)
Tard: If someone got an axe stuck in their head, they'd go into a coma
Child 1: You're a butthead!
Child 2: I know you are, but what am I?
Tard: You need to work on an insult, not a recall!