Although often mistaken for pigs, ant eaters, or aardvarks, the tapir is most closely related to the primitive horse. The tapir is the largest member of the odd toed ungulate family. It has four hooves on its front feet, and three hooves on its rear feet. It may appear sluggish, but it can crash through brush at nearly 30 miles per hour. It mates underwater and has a gestation period of over 300 days. It's habitat is rapidly diminishing and tapirs are nearing exticntion. In rare cases tapirs have been observed belching large flames nearly 14 feet to fend off predators. They sure is some crazy niggas.
Look over there, a tapir is feeding on eucalyptus.
by Owl D August 26, 2005

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Top Definition
A sexual move where during an anulingus, a woman will suck out the contents of a man's anus much like the eating ritual of a tapir.
- Bro, I hooked up with this nasty chick last night

- What happened?

- She gave me a full tapir

- At least you saved some toilet paper
by Tapir02 May 11, 2011

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Used to discribe a Jew usually with a large nose or any Jewish person.
My cousin, Richard is half-Jewish. He has such a big nose I also call him a tapir.
by Mo Dees May 15, 2008

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also known as a callum, usually for its large, unsightly teeth
shut up you tapir, go brush your teeth, your looking like a tapir
by Rossle May 11, 2008

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A slightly hairy gay man of average build.
That Russell is such a tapir chaser.
by Alopod February 08, 2011

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This Hipporhinoaardvarky animal is one of the most mystical creatures on the planet, closely associated with the oyster. Tapirs represent love or friendship or loyalty, but more specificlly a word of significance to the internet strict tits gang
Omfg, this is truly the best tapir appreciation rope ever
by Axelrod Gunnerson February 16, 2005

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