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1.
A crap that remains partially lodged in the asshole and requires copious amounts of toilet paper to wipe off. It's so named because the mechanics of the said crap are very similar to a container of chapstick as it gradually rises out of the tube and is very slowly wiped off. A Susie Chapstick usually involves a fecal consistency that is very pasty or putty-like (see definition for "chad"), and often occurs when the individual is semi-constipated, thus lacking the GI motility to pass that offending last piece of shit completely through the anus. Ironically, Susie Chapsticks have a high affinity for occurring in public restrooms with limited or low-grade toilet paper, and no plunger anywhere in sight. To add insult to injury, the person having such a crap is also normally late for something important, like a hot date or job interview.
Wow...Wally has sure been in there a long time. I keep hearing the toilet flush and thought I also heard plunging. He must be having some hellacious Susie Chapstick craps after going on those pain pills.
by gothictom January 15, 2011