SECTION 1. Outward Appearance:
Goatee/mustache combo, always trimmed to a neat level. Sometimes balding and still trying to rock the long hair.
Over 50, but can be as young as 35.
Summer: "cargo shorts," "mandals", wearing a polo shirt with an embroidered company logo on it. Seldom tattooed.
Winter: Spotless Wilson's leather, recent tour t-shirt from Rush, Jethro Tull, and jeans are relaxed-fit and pre-faded. Also seen with "dockers" trousers.
Seen in Brewpubs with cougar wives the only ones dancing.
Guitars: Fender "strat" or "tele"--spotless '57 reissue
Any Paul Reed Smith guitar
Bass: Any Bass with over 4 strings, period.
Chapman Stick (anyone who plays this should be shot anyway)
Amplification: Trace Eliot, Roland Jazz Chorus, and/or Hartke equipment.
Other Amps: All reissues.
Drums--Too many and too expensive for ability level. If he sings "harmonies" (see below) he tends toward the headset mic.
Keyboards: Too loud and usually shitty sounds.
SECTION 3: Choice of Music:
ALWAYS: anything SRV, and/or a cover of "Little Wing." Also George Thorogood. Dead giveaway signs.
OFTEN: Skynrd, and various other southern "bluesy" bands.
SELDOM: Any song under 10 minutes.